Received in email (more bad news)

Just got this in my email:

To: All Baca members,
Today we had a level 1 ride for a child and asked for help from the Columbus OH chapter. The ride was very successful.The Columbus chapter was heading home from Union and stopped at the Erlanger KY exit to gas up for the ride home. As they were
getting on to the on ramp to 75 north Bronco ran on the yellow line. The tape that was the yellow line kicked sideways which in turn kicked his bike sideways and threw him off of the bike and into the divider wall head first. Needless to say the impact took Bronco's life. Bronco's fiance' is three months pregnant with their first child. I do not know when the funeral will be, but they will let us know as soon as the arrangements are made. We just got home from the hospital and needless to say there were a million tears shed. Please lift his family up in prayer and I will let everyone know more information as I receive it.

I'm VERY tempted to wrap all my Ohio brothers and sisters in bubblewrap at this point.

Y'all send some happy thoughts their way: they really need 'em...

People of the Gun

Heh...

Jeff Soyer over at Alphecca got a wild idea in one of his comments sections: put up a website of us "People of the Gun". And an idea was born...

I'm on there (in kilt, of course), along with a really cool group of folks. Check it out here.

Addendum to my last...

Just heard from red, and he'd love to hear from any and all well-wishers. You can drop him a line at cenohbaca@gmail.com

Update on Red...

... this time, from the man himself!

To all of my loving brothers and sisters throughout the greatest motorcycle group in the world;
I want to thank everyone for the great support, prayers and love shown to myself, my family and my chapter, the last couple of weeks. Your showing of strong love and prayer convinced the man upstairs to send me back so I can continue to help our children. I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support.
I'm in a lot pain but getting better everyday. I am scheduled for an amputation on the right leg, this Tuesday, at or about the knee. I'm Okay with this and believe I'll have a great recovery. I'm in a private room, with a laptop (or I couldn't be doing this), so you can email me anytime if you like. I'll be in the O.R. tomorrow and Sunday for a quick procedure on my leg.
The police are doing a good job on their investigation, but say we have a "slim to none" chance at catching the jerk that hit me and took off. At this point-in-time I really don't care; I just want heal and get on with my life.
Looking up at the clock I see it's taken 2 hours to right this much and I'm extremely exhausted and sore now. I love you all and thank you for the love and support!!

I'll be dropping him a line tonight. If he's willing, I'll post his email for well-wishes.

Via Rattail Bastard

One of the newer blogs linked by Jay G, Rattail Bastard, just mentioned the correlation between youths "settling their differnces" the old fashioned way (ie: beating each-other bloody), and the politeness shown back then, to today's "civilized society", and the lack of civility. Which got me to thinkin'...

This is NEVER a good thing.

But there WAS a spark in me lil' 'ead, and it illuminated a problem I've noticed in society today: people aren't responsible for their actions.

I'll wait for y'all to recover from the shock that caused.

Now, I'm not exactly talking about the nanny state. Rather, I'm talking about basic civility.

There was a time in this country (and not all THAT long ago), where you'ld shoot someone for being disrespectful of your lady. Now, you're supposed to just stand there while the same stranger gropes her to his heart's content. A time (agina, not that long ago) where, upon mouthing off to an adult, a kid would get the snot smacked out of them... and more of the same, when and if their parents found out. Now, there'd be lawsuits flying...

The point here? I've noticed, the more "civilized" a society, the less civil. Let's be honest: calling hat we have today "civilized" is alot like naming the town slut "Chastity", and the town drunk "Temperance"...

And no... I really don't have a solution. But, like I said... I got to thinkin', and that's NEVER a good thing!

Little tidbit about Mom...

My mother was a 5 foot nuthin' Italian woman, who had no trouble smacking down whomever needed it. But she DID have a soft spot: those is the service.

When AD posted this, it reminded me of the way Mom was: she'd think nothing of having an entire platoon over for dinner, if an intact platoon was nearby. She was the type of woman who would've invited soldiers or sailors who were stuck on base for the holidays to dinner, had any bases been nearby...

So let's see what we can do here, folks. Go to YIKES!, and read about operation: Love from Home. Send a card or three. Let a servicemember know that the people he's sworn to protect appreciate his sacrifice...

What's in a name?

Just occurred to me: some of you may wonder, "Where does the name 'Strings' come from?". Then again, maybe not... but I'm gonna explain it anyway... :P

WAY back in elementary school, we could start learning to play an instrument in 4th grade (orchestra only: band came the following year). I wanted DESPERATELY to try violin, but was told my grades weren't good enough. Unfortunately, not knowing what the carrot tasted like, I didn't really push it...

The following year, we had moved from Illinois to California, and I got to start my "musical career"... playing clarinet. See, we didn't have all that much money, and my brother owned a clarinet that he graciously allowed me to use. And I promised myself right then, that any child connected to me would be able to learn whatever instrument they wished. Here's most of the result of that promise:



Now, that's not where this story ends. When we moved to Wisconsin, I gave up the clarinet for the trumpet. And I discovered something: I HATE playing brass. So that didn't last too long, and I switched to something not offered: guitar (and by extension, bass)...

If you look in that picture, there's a one-of-a-kind custom B.C. Rich Gunslinger (she does NOT leave the house very often), a Gibson Paul II (that's the cat's eyes you see), a Kramer/Ferrington acoustic/electric, a Steinberger bass, an Ibanez Soundgear bass (the basses technically belong to Spoon though), and my Steinberger six-string (my travel guitar). My amp's the closer of the two. The harp, bouzouki (at far left), mandolin, tambourines, and klong yaw (that's the purple drum on the right) are all mine. Not in the picture is the second mandolin, Spoon's acoustic bass, and a couple other hand drums...

Oh... that violin in the far back? That's Ray's (not that she plays it). The viola is also Spoon's...

So... does that explain where I came up with the name "Strings" well enough?

All BACA today...

So, first off: Red is still improving. To the point that he's playing grab-ass with some of the nurses. Surgery on the arm went well, but they still want to take the leg: he's asked for a second opinion...

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Today, we graduated one of our first cases. Tomboy's was a case we actually shouldn't have taken: WAY outside our area of operation. But we took it... and we've been there for over a year. But she's doing much better now, so we held her graduation ceremony (incidently, it's also her sweet 16).

First off though, I was asked to officiate her naming ceremony. This was a comedy: I had no idea what rit they wanted to use until we got there, so I was literally reading from a script. A script that, mind you, did NOT have all the info I needed...

So: simple ritual. Introduce the child to the elements, using her new name. Start in the East...

I walk her to the East, and start things off... only to find out that we don't HAVE her new name. SHE hasn't chosen one, and her mother hadn't decided on one yet. Ray maintains I should have gone with "Tim?", but I don't think that would've been good. Mom blurts out the first thing that pops into her head, and off we go.

Since Tomboy hadn't really done anything like this before, she needed some of my subtle stage-direction to make it through. This took the form of "Ok... go THERE. STOP! *read scripted part* Now turn and go there!" I even included a bit of a two-step. The crowd seemed to enjoy themselves (and, as I told Tomboy later: "Sometimes, you just have to accept that you're providing entertainment for the Powers that Be. I prefer to go for the comedy routine"), and Tomboy was given her new name...

Then we graduated her. Now, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but we were making last-minute preperations due to problems that HAD to be taken care of IMMEDIATELY all week. Which helped result in her 'diploma" having her name mispelled (I blame Ray). But we made sure she knew the important parts: that we feel she's ready to stand on her own, but that we're still there to be called on when needed...

Also got to meet the folks that want to start the newest Chapter here in Cheeseland. Spare a good thought or two for 'em: they've got a LONG road ahead of them (and with me guiding. Let's face it, they're screwed!).


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Then there was the ride home. I swear, it was around 50*... go ahead and figure windchill there with a 60-65 mph wind. Ray swears her nether regions froze and tried crawling farther inside of her (mine are STILL a bit numb: we've been home for 2 1/2 hours at this point). Good thing Spoon and I are tired: I couldn't preform for her if my soul depended on it!



So... that was my Saturday. Hope y'all had one at least as good!

Update on Red

Just received an update on my brother red. Figured it would be easier to just post it verbatim:

Red was doing great today. He made a full plate of food vanish in a matter of seconds. This was his first meal in four days. He was sitting up and very alert. As you know, the tube was recently removed and he is now very talkitive, as a result there has been some requests for the tube to be re-inserted just to shut him up again:)

He is scheduled for surgery Friday morning around 9:30 for cleansing of the leg and arm. They expect this will take about 1 1/2 hours. His hemoglobin is good so they will not need blood transfusions.

Just as a heads up, the nurses have ok'd him for any food he would like. They even went as far as to suggest that he ask his friends to run to various restaurants of his choosing to cater to his desires. Again we have asked the nurses NOT to encourage such behavior with him!!! My god, it was bad enough when he wanted us to set up his tent in Gettysburg, can you imagine what he will be like to have doctors orders to act like this.

Thanks for all the well-wishes, prayers, and good thoughts. And please, keep 'em coming!

Ya gotta love filk!

So I present "Hillarycare(Docs for Free)", by Tamara!

Not that I think she reads me, or anything... :(

I don't normally make requests here...

... but today, I'm going to.

One of my BACA brothers in Ohio was involved in an "accident" the other day. I use the quotes because of what, exactly, happened.

He was run over on his scoot from behind by a semi.

Yes, y'all read that right: a semi driver ran my brother over. Worse, he kept right on going.


While the police in this case try to find the driver, my brother is in the hospital. He's already had surgery on his face, he's healing a lacerated liver (not sure about other internal injuries), they still have to set 8 fractures in his right arm, and he may loose his right leg at the knee.

While my brother deals with this, the police (as of the last time I called for an update from a sister on scene) are spinning their wheels. As usual in today's society, nobody saw nuthin', it seems...

I don't normally ask for people's prayers: always sounds cheesy to me. But he needs all the help he can get.

Link to the story here.

Pardon me while I geek out...

So... one aspect is that I used to be into comics...

Heavily.

No, not just read a bunch, or had a bit of an X-Men collection.

I used to be an addict. And my crack of choice was the Marvel Universe. X-Men (in all it's variants), Power Pack, Daredevil, Cloak and Dagger, Dr Strange, Avengers... colour escapism from a dull world.

I mean, it was SO COOL. A shared universe that the writers tried to keep internally consistent (or, at least, so it appeared for awhile). Little tidbits from one title would cross over into another. There was an issue in the Kitty Pryde and Wolverine limited series where there's unseasonably cold weather due to something going on in Thor at the time.

Details like that make the whole world more believable...

Then I got out of comics. The stories were getting stale, and the only other person I knew that was into them was turning into a serious dweeb. I don't know HOW many times I answered the question "If we lived in the Marvel Universe, what power would you want?" with "If we lived there, we'd be just like we are now, just in more danger"...

Then the movies started coming out... :GLEE:

Oh... wait... they're screwing up the storylines. even worse than the original writers, trying to correct a mistake...

Worse yet, all the stories and characters were in separate realities. I fully expected to see Spider Man swing by in a cameo during Daredevil ('course, I also expected Jay and Silent Bob, but that's different). The only time I've heard another hero mentioned in one of the movies was in Batman and Robin, where Batman comments "Now I know why Superman works alone". and that wasn't even in my beloved Marvel!

To date, Marvel has made at least tolerable movie versions of:
Spiderman
Daredevil
Ghost Rider
Punisher
X-Men
Howard the Duck*
Blade

And intolerable versions of:
The Hulk
The Fantastic Four (I'm referring to the original movie, haven't seen the actually released remake)
The Punisher (see note above)

And, of course, some I haven't seen:
Fantastic Four
Silver Surfer
Elektra

This doesn't count direct-to-video, or animated, or TV movies. Anyway... there's one thing I noticed, over and over...

No cross-overs. None. Nada.

Then today, I'm on Support your Local Gunfighter, and there's a link to the Iron Man movie (due in '08). The trailer is on YouTube.

I get excited. THEN I look at the list of other trailers... wait a sec, there are several DC titles showing there...

There's a new Batman coming out...
And Aquaman
and Green Lantern...
and Justice league...

JUSTICE LEAGUE!?!?

I've been saying for the last several YEARS that Marvel Studios could OWN the entire summer, buy doing a crossover series. A new movie every couple weeks, some introing new characters, then releasing the final blockbuster "starring everyone" flick right before school starts...

And someone at DC heard me...

The wait 'till 2011 (Justice League's projected release) is gonna be LONG...

BTW: here's a list of what Marvel's done, and what they've got planned. notice, STILL no cross-overs...



*Yes, Howard WAS in the regular Marvel Universe. He even had quite a bit of hero interaction. The movie qualifies as good because my pubescent self still has a crush on Lea Thompson...

OH. MY. GAWDS!

This is just too frelling funny! The Blank Top Chronicles

Missed one...

Oops... almost missed the lovely Jenna, self-described "6’1 Amazon in blue jeans" from Naturally Nerds. Spent a bit of time looking over your blog, darlin': must say, you're my kinda people! Unfortunately, don't have time for the battle stuff at present: maybe someday...

Y'all give her a look-see!

NEW LINKS!

When I first got started here, one of the first bloggers to mention me was Ambulance Driver. Since that time, I do my level best to make sure and check out any new folks he reccomends. This has usually been good for me: seems those he suggests, I enjoy. So, imagine my supprise when he linked a bunch of fellow pagan bloggers...

So... I'd like to add the Pagan Blacksmith, Kate at Rigel's Wheel, Lisa the Pixie, and Chas Clifton of Letter from Hardscrabble Creek to the dubious honor of my blogroll.

And, should y'all be interested in a REALLY cool group of like-minded folks, check out the forums at Timerift (requires registration, so we can avoid bots. I'm a mod there: mention in your "application" that Strings sent you). Although predominantly a pagan board, all faiths are welcome. The only thing not welcome there is BS: VERY big on being scholarly there...


And I almost forgot to add Dixie at Nautical Dawn. How silly of me!

On Bots

If anyone can tell me who the schmuck is that created the program known as the SPAM Bot, please let me know: I'd like to discuss his invention with him, over a baseball bat!

I'm a mod on a pagan forum (timerift.net). In the past three days, I (and a couple other mods) have deleted somethng in the vacinity of 300 posts by the same bot, using the name(s) abby***. Should I ever find the culprit behind this lil' bit of fun, I'm willing to bet the charges against me will included violating the "cruel and unusual punishment" restriction...

I wonder...

How many times my fellow bloggers write a several page rant, then delete. I just did...

Had a GREAT rant going against the obese, and realized that it was disjointed as hell... :( I'll bet Law Dog doesn't have these days...

Had another visit from Dad today: looks like we'll be putting up with him for another year. He needs to save up to renew his retirement visa (or I need to win the Lotto). Which means more visits with the old goat... more dinners, more advice on my meade, possibly even some elderberry wine (and jelly, and syrup). Oh, woe is me! Which reminds me...

Next month is gonna be a sparse posting month. I AM gonna do my "remembering mom" series: little snippits of my mother, to celebrate her life (which ended four years ago, this 06 Oct)...

They call it "CRIMINAL justice" for a reason...

This case hits a little close: one of our BACA kids was involved in getting this guy busted in the first place.

The important part:

"Following a one day trial, jurors spent all of 30 minutes before it reached a guilty verdict against Mitchell Pask.



Following the conviction, Judge Timothy Van Akkeren ruled on a motion the defense made earlier to dismiss the case. The defense argued that prosecutors hadn't met the burden of proof saying the incident didn't take place in a secluded area, which is required for the charge." (emphasis mine)

Is this possibly legal? I thought a judge had to rule one way or another on all motions BEFORE the case went to trial (unless a motion is brought up during). Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?

Again on my daily reading...

And I stumble upon this gem from Crystal. It's a fairly normal Crystal post, containing something of a rant. But one phrase really lept out at me:

"Well, as a for instance, one of the questions is, 'What do a knee and an elbow have in common?'. We give the children one point for saying they both bend, 2 points for saying they're both joints, and so on."

"What did Virginia say?"

"Umm, well...she said they can both be used with deadly force. And then she drew some karate stick figures."

"See! That's creative!"

"They were hitting what are very obviously men in their private parts."

"Did you know that Mississippi has no law saying a sex offender has to live away from a school or park? Do you know how many we have living in a five block radius?"

This is the kind of answer more young girls need to be able to give. Hat's off, Crystal, for raising a child that will NOT be a victim!

Ok... so I'm a geek...

Yeah, I know... the above admission stuns my readers. I'm sure all five of you are going "But Strings... we thought you were so cool, with hot chicks hanging off you, and dudes wanting to be you when they grow up!". Unfortunately, no...

I used to be a serious gamer. Not the way that term is used today: nowadays, "gamer" denotes someone who plays lots of video games. Back in the day, a gamer played RPGs: games found in books, which you played using your mind, some graph paper, and MAYBE a miniature (I still collect and paint miniatures). D&D, Cyberpunk, GURPS, Deadlands... those were the games of choice among my friends. Add in Battletech, Dark Future, and Warhammer 40K, and you had most of how I spent my teenage years (and quite a few years after becoming an adult).

Previously, I mentioned something about Deadlands: this is a game set in the Weird West: think "horror movie set in the West, starring Adam Sandler". We're not talking about being serious here: the humor was a BIG part of the game.

So... myself and a friend are playing partners: our characters grew up together, and we stand by each-other whatever may come. The party is not exactly cohesive: our spirit guide is an old indian who sounds like Yoda on crack as a result of how well we work together. Because of this, we end up accidently entering the spirit realm...

Those who have played D&D know all about illusions, right? If you attempt to disbelieve, the illusion shatters? we end up in a fight (in the spirit realm), and I hand the GM a note: "I disbelieve". He smiles, hands back "just sit there quietly", and tells the other players that I "just got my head torn off"... they (predictably) go nuts, and fight all the harder...

Once they come through (with some scrapes and contusions), they find out I'm fine: that what they just went through was illusion. So we continue on, and come to a cliff (we're at the top)...

Everyone see where this is going?

My partner decides "It worked once", steps to the edge, and steps off... telling the GM "I disbelieve". I, being a good friend, follow suit.

Dying in the spirit realm is kinda interesting: your body gets possessed fairly quickly there. And playing a game where your character is a possessed gunfighter with a handgun the size of Texas is just too much fun!


And let's not talk about Cyberpunk, or the website I was working on for it once upon a time. The pics we took (my entire gun collection, and several other props, set up to look like a street dealer's warehouse) earned me police attention one afternoon (and we're still not sure how they even found out about the silly things).

Never got into LARP (Live Action Role Playing): can't bring myself to swing even a fake sword at someone without trying to do damage... especially when the target thinks they really ARE the shit, and look like it (Google LARP sometime). Playing with swords and other melee weapons for the better part of 20 years tends to impart a little ability...

Still do the Ren Faire... worked a few years for my sister at her jewelery shop (The Royal Exchange Jewelers), where I still have my knotwork pieces. Next year, I might be helping her a bit, but I'm more likely to be selling decorative stonework or kilts. Anyone reading this, who finds themselves at the Bristol Ren Faire, should look me up...

Yes... I've attended sci-fi conventions, and even dressed in costume. Cyberpunk costuming is fun: vinyl pants, motocross boots, net tanktop, the Psycho Jacket (I'll post a pic at some point), and HARDWARE (airsoft, but still)...


Nowadays, I don't do much of the above (except the Ren Faire): BACA takes loads of time, as does shooting (actually going to the range, and fighting for CCW and against anti measures). When I DO get some time and money to burn, I'm more likely to take a long bike ride, or get some friends together for a game of paintball. We DO play old-school D&D during the winter, when we really can't be outside...


What... you thought there was a point to this post? It's late, I can't sleep, and I'm doped up on Oxycodone. If there was any cohesive thought behind this post, it would be a miracle!

Another addition to the blogroll...

Time to add Jay G over at MArooned. Biker, shooter, and dad to a girl he maintains will break not hearts, but legs. Sounds like my kinda people!

Since all the other cools kids jumped off the bridge...

... I will too!





That actually cam up in a Deadlands game. I'll have to post about it sometime (and reveal just how much of a geek i am)...

Something that needs to be said...

This post by Law dog kinda strikes a cord...

Suicide* is one of the most passive-aggressive actions one can take in this world. Forcing another to pull the trigger for you (usually because you don't have the balls to shuffle yourself off this mortal coil) is the worst form of of "I'll show them all!" bullshit that I can think of.

I was gonna post in LD's comments, but I figured maybe posting it on my own blog was a better idea. My heart goes out to the officer Law Dog's talking about, and said officer's family.

*This does not include those with serious, painful, and terminal conditions. You're about to die from lukemia (or similar), you have every right to end that pain.

Forgot another blog...

So... I've been purusing a local blog, Boots and Sabers. Today, they popped this lil' gem, from MSNBC. An exerpt:

Just in time for the start of school, the state of Florida has launched an eye-opening Web site that enables parents to see the disciplinary records of their kids’ teachers. The site, called http://www.myfloridateacher.com, makes public a troubling secret in education: that the people who teach our kids and discipline them sometimes have a few demerits on their own permanent records.

The site was designed to be parent-friendly. Users can put a teacher’s last name--or a particular school district--into a search engine and within a few seconds get a list of the teachers who have been found guilty of misconduct--even crimes--and a description of the punishment meted out to them. Some of the infractions seem minor; one teacher in Miami-Dade was convicted of submitting a cribbed essay as part of a licensing exam. (He was handed two years’ probation, a $250 fine, and required to retake the test.) Others suggest more serious problems: one teacher in Hernando County was convicted of disorderly conduct, carrying a concealed weapon and intoxication. The punishment? A letter of reprimand and a $250 fine.

This is something that should be in EVERY State, bookmarked on library computers, and parents encouraged to check it.

And updating the blogroll...

Oops... realized I hadn't updated the blogroll in a bit. That's now corrected.

First addition is Bab's son, the Football Fullback. Not that I'm a fan of the sport, but the boy can WRITE! Let's just hope AD doesn't corrupt his style to fart jokes... ;)

Next, we've got ER Monkeygirl. Now, I have NO idea why I have so many nurse/ER blogs on my list. Oh, wait... I keep getting links from AD, so I suppose it makes sense. Monkeygirl's good... have to say, I'd feel safe in her care. And, since we're adding ER nurse folk, I've added Nurse K at Crass-Pollination. Check out her ongoing "love-affair" with the "Speaker for all Nurses" (she's gonna kill me for that)...

And what blogroll is complete without Hammer? Almost always a fun read (hey... everybody has an off day). Also some really good insights...

I've also added the Bitch Girls, and Snowflakes in Hell. Both are snarky political blogs, and I'm mentioning them together because the "team leader" at the Bitch Girls (Bitter) and Sebastian at Snowflakes are dating (so you get some cross-posting). Both are worth a read (which I give 'em every night)...

So... go forth, and read good stuff!

Continuing to take inspiration from others...

... I came across this post by Babs last night. Go read it: it's something everyone should pay attention to.

Remember: just because you read a lil' bit on someone's blog, does NOT give you the authority to make judgement calls on their life. That someone would feel the need to critique Babs' parenting skills or style, knowing nothing more than what they've read on her blog, frankly disgusts me...

I've read her son's blog: his not being n my blogroll has been an oversight (fixing that now). If what he's shown there is any indication of the job Babs has done, then I can only wish more parents were like her.

People may lead different lifestyles, or have different ways of doing things, different beliefs, different goals and expectations. Just because somebody is different from you, doesn't mean you should start preaching your "One True Way" at them...

It's been a long two weeks...

Yeah... i know, I've been remiss in posting new stuff for the three of you to read. Feel free to sue: my lawyer can beat up your lawyer anytime.

First off... my Chapter had to pull off a case. Nothing more I can really say there, beyond it absolutely SUCKS to know that an innocent is being hurt, and there's nothing you can do. I really can't think of anything I hate more than this feeling...

Then, we got word that spoon' uncle ("Honda Bob", if there's anyone reading this in Appleton) died in a cycle accident. Some guy looking for an address blew a light, and there went Uncle Bob: DRT. Funeral was today: I'm getting REALLY tired of only seeing family at funerals, weddings, and other mournful occasions... :(

Last night, I got an email: I've been promoted to State Rep in BACA. Didn't even know I was in the running. I'm not ready for that much responsibility (that, and it means I don't get to attend training sessions at National, or goof off with my bros: I HAVE to be in the BoD meeting).

With all that, I needed to get out for a bit: stopped in at one of my favorite watering holes, ordered my Coke, and was relaxing when some Cute Young Thang decided I was a prime target for her affections, and was NOT gonna back off (one of my would-be members finally got her to calm down. I think he warned her I was likely to cauterize what she wanted played with if she kept up her BS)...

Can somebody just shoot me already? AD, Matt, LawDog... SOMEBODY?!?!?

DINGDINGDING! We have a winnah!

For any women reading this (or guys that have women in their lives, in whatever fashion), go read this piece by Marko. If more women took this advice, I'd be out of a job (which would make me VERY happy)...