16 April 2009

Here goes nuthin'

Well... just sent my first piece off to a real-live publication. Hopefully, they'll like it enough to give me the occassional piece (for real-live money)...

Y'all may have noticed that I've dropped the Freedom Roads banner off the top of the page. That's because they've gone Tango Uniform. But the experience gave me a bit of a bug for writing, so we'll see how the title "freelance writer" works out for me...

13 April 2009


If there's anything a privateer hates (other than those customs bastards), it's a pirate. Especially a pirate that picks a fight with a major naval power:

"From now on, if we capture foreign ships and their respective countries try to attack us, we will kill them (the hostages)," Jamac Habeb, a 30-year-old pirate, told the Associated Press from one of Somalia's piracy hubs, Eyl. "(U.S. forces have) become our No. 1 enemy."

Now, it's been a fair while since I was actually out to sea, but I remember my shipmates (both those in blue and those in camo). And I KNOW what their response would be to this: come get some.

Read the article here. What do y'all think the response is going to be from Washington (and our Appeaser in Chief)?

12 April 2009

Caught this @ Liberty Girl

Ya know, sometimes you just have to step up to the plate...

These folks want you to join their network, and report any "anti-Obama Activity".

Tell y'all what, Cupcakes: I'm reporting myself. Since your Messiah is an avowed (though unadmitted) socialist, I am completely against him and what he stands for.

Hope y'all have fun with your little project...

09 April 2009

Multiple good things (for once)

So... it's been a good week aboard the Privateer. In multiple ways...


Obviously, got my computer working again. When Windoze got lobotomized, I decided to try Ubuntu. So far, I have to say I like it...


With the return of warmer weather, has come the return of two-wheeled transportation. This has been a mixed thing of late: haven't been able to replace the infamous Hondapotomus yet. To make matters worse, she would NOT start, not for anything. However, replace the battery, and she's again on the road (which makes Spoon happy: means I'm not stealing HER scoot anymore).


Something to file under "News of the Unexpected": a couple years back, I taught Nancy (my mom-in-law) to shoot a handgun. This last few weeks, she decided she had to "prove she was serious about it": she went out and took (and passed) the NRA Basic Handgun Course. Came as a supprise to me: she's a good shot, but I had no clue that she was taking the class. And she's already considering the idea of concealed carry (if we ever get it in this Gawdsforesaken state)...


Now maybe, just MAYBE, we're off the rocks and can start sailing forward again!

07 April 2009

Dating Advice for Bikers (and similar folks)

I had meant to publish this in the Feb issue of the magazine. Things got in the way, but I figure it might be fairly timely now...


Ok… some of my more astute readers may have cottoned to the fact there are… women… in my life. And, in talking to these fair folk, it occurs to me that some of the Y segment of the population could use some gentle advice.

Let me translate that for y’all: I’m gonna give you some ideas, so that I don’t constantly feel the need to apologize for the failings of my gender.

First off: if you wouldn’t do it to your mother (or would be irritated if it was done to your gal), don’t do it or say it to a girl you see in a bar. “Hey, you have nice titties!” just isn’t the show-stopper pick-up line you think it is. Ditto walking up and grabbing the aforementioned pieces of a lady’s architecture. You MIGHT, if you’re VERY lucky, be able to do that later in private. But those aren’t what you shake on someone when you first meet ‘em.

Next item: maybe, drop “bitch” from your vocabulary. Most women don’t like the term, and get cranky when referred to as such. Stick words like “whore”, “slut”, and any similar in the trash too. Not only do they usually not work for you, but they make life damn difficult for the next few guys out there.

And one of the big secrets, which most completely miss out on: it’s the little things that matter. Yes, that diamond ring, new Sof Tail, or similar extravigence might make her “drop her panties” immediately, but it’s the little things that will have the longest effect. I’m talking about just sending a random text message, to let her know you’re thinking of her. Or picking up a flower “just because”. Out on a ride with the guys? Most gas stations have little things that, if you think about it, your gal would just melt over. One of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen on Spoon’s face (other than at a machinegun shoot) was when I presented her with a lil’ stuffed “biker monkey”. Why, you ask? Because it showed that, while I was away, I had thought of her.

I can hear y’all now: “Strings, you just don’t know how to deal with women!”. Yeah… that’s why, if you ever meet me in person, there are usually two gorgeous ladies with me: because I don’t know what I’m talking about. Trust me guys: these three pieces of advice will take you VERY far!

Frelling computers

So... while Sly was posting about his awesome news, I had a lil' glitch: basically, I ended up with a virus that resulted in a couple important windoze files going walkabout.

Did you know that dll files are necessary? For things like windoze running, and suchlike? Woulda thunk it?

So... scramble for the last week or so was to find someone with a decent XP disk, so I could rebuild the machine. Of course, the closest I could find was my old Win2K disk (and several folks with Vista disks *shudder*). What IS a poor blogger to do?

Why, load Ubuntu, of course!

For the foreseeable future, I'll be banging away on a machine that has a different OS than Bill Gates' monster. And so far, THE only problem I've had with it is not being able to get iTunes set up on the damn thing (but I have hopes).

Oh... as a result of my question, I'll be giving my camera a lil' bit of a workout: once a week, I plan on posting a piece out of my safe, along with whatever personal history it has and such. We'll see how long that'll last for... ;)

05 April 2009

Second Chances

OK... OK... I'm Posting already..... Its only been a few minutes......er.... days.........ok too damn long since I posted last. As to date my posts have not been anything that is really about me and who I am, no substance of how deranged is Slytly Deranged. This will be no different....

A lot of changes around here since my last post, I now have custody of my 16 year old son. I am overjoyed with this. I could write about it all day long and still never get out my feelings about him or how happy I am to have him. I could......but I won't. Two reasons....1.) If I did, this post would be different from my previous posts and I have already mentioned that this post would not be much different.....2.) I would rather you see his words about how he feels about being here.
I pulled the following from his myspace blog. These are his words, copied and pasted, no editing on my part:

A new school, a new home, sounds like an everyday thing in my life at this point huh? Well, this time it's different. I now have a place where I'm staying. I have a house and a school I don't have to leave anymore. It feels good to finally have some stability in my life. I get to have friends here that I won't leave two months from now, or just jump up and move without even saying good bye to them. I finally have a place where I can be me, but also I have a place I can care about. I used to not really care what anyone thought of me because I knew sooner or later, I'd be gone, far away from that place and probably never coming back. Granted, what I did to get here was nothing short of bad, I pretty much killed my mother with heartbreak. But when I think about how much better I'll have it here, I know I had to do it.... Here.... I don't have to worry about college tuition or a job or anything like that. Here, I can have everything I want because I now hold the tools I need to get them. When I was there, I was so un-happy all the time because all I would worry about was my future, here, I have another chance to re-write my future to a better ending.... My second chance in life.... Maybe one day you will all get one yourself.