31 October 2007

Via Matt G at Better and Better

Matt G is someone I admire: cop and dad, he does two of the toughest jobs out there. What I never realized was, his mom was in a similarly tough job... and sometimes writes about it.

So Matt links her. And I, being the type I am, check out her entry "Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?".

If you haven't read it yet, go read it now. This hits close to home for me, due to BACA. Which brings me to "Why hasn't Strings been posting?"

See... I've gotten a bit burnt out. Between the Neverending Jobhunt, the political issues in Cheeseland, and other assorted BS, I've been draggin'. Latest has been BACA: WAY too many folks that will say how great our organization is, and what a great idea, and then never show up. Or folks that are supposed to be members, but not fulfilling their obligations. And, this past weekend, people just flat-out missing the meeting.

I was ready to quit: hang up my colours and go do something else. What Matt's mom wrote there relit the fire.

Go... read it. Kids are our future. And, if things like this keep up, we don't HAVE one.

Goin' to Thailand (pt III: the Voyage Home)

Ok... I'll explain the delay some other time.

When I left off, we were on our way home (and I was considering being the first guy to swim the Pacific)...

So... back to the airport in Bangkok. First stop, customs... where we waited with dread while the folks in front of us got EVERYTHING torn apart, looking for contraband. The screeners there were so thorough, I was expecting a body-cavity search. Thankfully, we got lucky: after a cursory look at us, they waved all four of us past. Good thing... none of the screeners looked like my type...

Onto that modern device called the airliner. Thankfully, we managed to get Dad's remaining Valium away from him while we were in country, so he didn't foolishly do anything to spark Mom's homicidal side. Of course, being unable to smoke resulted in the three of us immediately having nic fits. Other than that, the flight was uneventful. Flew into Detroit without a hitch...

Yes, Detroit. For some reason, there are only certain International airports that work inbound from faraway places. I figured LAX, or maybe SEATAC... we got to land in a city whose claim to fame is "Where the Weak are Killed and Eaten". I felt VERY sorry for the foreign-born that were gonna be stuck with any kind of layover. Of course, we had some problems of our own...

See, Spoon is a reactive hypoglycemic. And, as we cleared customs, her blood-sugar decided now was a good time to seek bedrock.

We come through the customs station, and see a door to the outside world. Outside, where Mom Dad and I can deal with the withdrawl symptoms we're experiencing. We set Spoon in a chair ("Be back in a minute, and we'll find something to eat"), and head out...

BLISS! Nicotine FINALLY entering the system! YAY!

Ok... let's go get... wait a sec. Why is that door we came through mirrored on this side, and why won't it open?

Seems the exit doors after customs are one-way. And my (currently brain-dead*) wife is on the wrong side of them.

This should be an easy fix, right? Have some security schlub escort one of us back through, nab Spoon, and be on our way to a restaurant. To quote Bill Cosby: "RIIIIIGHT!".

Close to an hour of running around the airport, trying to get SOMEONE to understand that I need to get to my wife, and deal with her blood-sugar levels. FINALLY find a stupervisor that can bring us back to the other side of that door... only to find Spoon missing.

I came close to jail right then. I figured "justifiable homicide"... had someone walked us back right away, my wife wouldn't be wandering around without benefit of an IQ. I promised myself that, if she HAD truly disappeared, so would the stupervisor...

Mom and Dad head to the proper ramp, with the idea that MAYBE she would figure out where to go on her own. Me? I start wandering some of the various areas that she might have gone to. Thinking up new and worse tortures to visit on folks for coming between me and my wife. Then I hear the page, calling me to the ramp where Mom & Dad are...

Seems Spoon realized that her brain was shutting down, and dug out a power bar hidden in her bag. The mind re-engaged, and she went looking for us... while we were trying desperately to get back through the door to look for her. Mom thoguht it was funny: she always liked laughing at me when I got "needlessly upset".

Brat.

The connecting flight back to Milwaukee was also uneventful, although by this time, I just wanted to get home. I ALWAYS have this reaction: no matter how much fun the trip is, or how much I love the destination, the last couple hours of the return trip I ALWAYS get impatient to be home.

Through the airport, out to the car, and we're on our way home. Barring a stop for dinner, we drove through.

Couple days after getting back, Mom asks if we're ready to do it again. I just smile, and ask when she wants to leave... ;)

*For the record, I love my wife. And she's normally VERY intelligent. But when her blood-sugar tanks, you might as well remove her brain from her skull. No biggie, I'm the same way (although she gets bitchier than I do).

17 October 2007

Oops

Heh... just noticed someone linking me, and I never even realized! Guess we'll have to add another one:

How about someone who breathes fire for fun. Even rumors that he might be trying to get into BACA (but I'm not sure how far that's gone yet). Check out Fjolnirsson, and let him know I sent ya! ;)

Results of input

Ok... thanks everyone for your input. I guess I'll kinda nudge spoon into settng up her own blog. Heck, I might even link her... :P Or maybe just let her guest post here occasionally (since I'm not sure how much she has to say at the moment)...

Thanks again for the input!

Goin' to Thailand! (pt II: Strangers in a Strange Land)

So anyway... we've arrived in Thailand. When I left off, Mom was ready to kill Dad; Dad wouldn't have been able to feel Mom killing him; Spoon was marveling in a foreign culture; and I... I was trying to stay awake...

Twenty-four hours in economy class is SERIOUS torture. Especially for a smoker. Had Mohamed Iwannadie tried hijacking our flight, I would've killed him (or helped, if he offered me a smoke). I gave consideration to swimming back...

We made it to the hotel in fairly good order, and Mom was mollified by those members of the staff on duty remembering her from previous visits. Into the rooms, into beds, and out like lights: jet-lag sucks.

The next morning, Mom went crazy: she wanted Spoon to see EVERYTHING in Thailand during that 17 day stay. I finally convinced her to slow down a bit by pointing out that running us into the ground wasn't helpful. I even pointed out that return journeys were possible (not realizing she would be gone in about a year).

We still managed to see several zoos (which are a REAL treat in Thailand, as you can often interact with the animals). Had to shake mom down after each: since you're actually interacting with the critters, mom kept trying to steal various beasties (especially the gibbons). Of course, since we all hate critters, we understood... ;)

Then there was the Royal Palace.

My first impression there was "poor muzzle discipline": the guard station at the front gate had 5 or so M60s on a table, pointing out at the crowd. Quick note: most of the Thai army equipment is 'Nam era US. Although the finish is pretty well worn off, *I* didn't want to help "test" them for functionality...

Beautiful architecture, though. And the guards are VERY professional. The average tourists, though, I could have done without...

What is it about being in a foreign land that makes so many become total idiots?

There were other sights of note (Mom would NOT allow Dad and I to take the trip to Angkor Wat: Dad's promised to take me there, if we ever get to visit him). Eventually, I'll post pics (have to find the damn things)...

We also met a VERY cool couple: James and Verity. British, with that touch of class that is all to seldom found anymore. Although James LOOKS like something a father would have nightmares about his daughter dating, he was an absolute gentleman. Spent a couple afternoons with the two of them in the pool, teaching young children the joys of pool-tag...

Unfortunately, all good things must come to and end. We headed back to Bangkok to retrace our flight, back to the land of death and taxes (I was STILL thinking of swimming home)...

13 October 2007

Something I need input on...

So... I'm talking with Spoon today, and the idea is brought up of me giving her posting ability here. Make the HMS Privateer more democratic, with more of the crew able to talk to y'all directly.

I'll be honest, this idea scares me. Not as much as, say, the idea of Tamara irritated with me, but still.

So what do y'all think: would hearing from spoon occasionally be a good thing?

12 October 2007

Goin' to Thailand (ptI: the Trip There)

This is Mom's month, and this story's humor kinda rests on dad. But it (and the sequels) have some of my favorite Mom memories...

One of my brothers had gotten involved with a Thai girl. This is (usually) not a Good Thing. But mom was supportive...

When the relationship (and everything attached to it) came apart, mom flew out to Thailand to try and talk sense into my bumbling sibling.

And proceeded to fall in love with the country. She and dad went back many times: although airfare can be pricey, it's still a fairly cheap vacation. In 2002, she and dad took Spoon and I. Total price was around $7K (airfare, lodging, food and bric-a-brac for four people for 17 days). And WHAT a trip!

First off: dad doesn't really fly well. Not that he's afraid of flying, or anything: he just doesn't enjoy it. First thing he does, is pop a Valium (so he can sleep). He then forgets about it, and proceeds to pop another.

We were SOMEWHERE over the Pacific when the lil' box lunch came, and dad "discarded" what he didn't like.

By tossing it on the floor.

Mom was, to put it mildly, unamused. At this point, she starts trying (unsuccessfully) to confiscate his remaining valium...

Then he wanted a drink, but didn't want to take the cookie out of his mouth. Made sense to try and suck tea out of the bottle through his nose, right?


Mom was NOT happy. While Spoon and I tried desperately not to laugh, we watched mom give serious consideration to widowhood...

We land in Japan: only a couple more hours to the Land of Smiles. Quick potty stop: the facilities are located down a flight of stairs, which means we take it in shifts (one of us has to stay with doped-up-dad, and keep him from sliding down that stairway). We get through that challenge...

And mom looses her passport.

Ever try explaining to an irate 5' nothing Italian woman that she is NOT, in fact, wandering around the airport looking for her passport (without which, she could easily be thrown in jail)? Not an easy proposition! Thankfully, the airport personnel manage to locate it, and it's waiting at the gate of our flight...

Tense couple of minutes there

Sooo... we board. I'd say happiness ensues, but have you ever flown economy for almost 24hrs straight? NOT my preferred method of torturing myself...

From Japan to Thailand was fairly uneventful: dad slept, mom stewed, and Spoon and I watched an inflight (don't remember what now). And then, we touched down...

We're there: the Land of Smiles. The first time (not counting the short layover in Japan) Spoon had ever been out of the country...

More later!

11 October 2007

Revenge

Ok... Here's the set-up. Mom had been pestering me (pretty much from the time Spoon and I started dating): "When are you gonna marry the girl?". I was starting to get tired of the nagging, and I still owed her for the Birthday Incident (never bothered trying to get back at dad: that's pretty much impossible). So a plan was hatched...

The appointment was made for Friday, 29 Jan. Went through all kinds of tribulations to get everything (and everybody) necessary there. Folks were sworn to secrecy: mom knew nothing...

Mom and dad came to town for lunch with my mom-in-law (they always got along well). Afterwards,dad came up with some lame excuse to go downtown, and MIL went along with. They see me, Spoon, my brother Turk, and Spoon's friend Jenny crossing the street to the courthouse in our finery. Mom notices Turk, puts a couple things together, and immediately thinks I'm in major trouble (since he's an attorney in Chicago, I guess I can understand)...

We end up wandering around the courthouse, trying to find the right room (they kept switching on us), gathering more folks as we went. Despite hearing me repeatedly say "We're here for the 1:30 wedding", she didn't clue in. Finally, dad answered her repeated "What's going on?" with "your son is getting married". She got a kinda perplexed look on her face...

"What son?"

Shortly before the ceremony, she was heard to loudly proclaim to the packed courtroom we used "I'm killing everyone here, and I'm starting with my son!".

My pointing, smiling, and saying "GOTCHA!" probably didn't help.

But hey: she got the daughter she wanted, she was present for the wedding. What more did she want?

Slightly Unrelated Note:

When friends at your wedding smile, start humming the "Mission Impossible" theme, and leave, avoid the reception. Trust me on this...

09 October 2007

Musings on Mom

Don't know how many of you know: my mother passed away on 13 Oct 03. Obviously, this is not a date I celebrate. This year I've decided to remember her the way she used to be, and share some stories with y'all.

Hopefully, none of these stories will result in her spirit returning to take up her spoon and beat me 'bout the head and shoulders...

Mainly, I remember the lil' things: like getting revenge for the Birthday Incident, or watching her chase a Marine out the door with the above-mentioned spoon. Or the absolute joy she took in Spoon (my wifely unit): she always introduced her as "my favorite daughter", even before we talked about getting married...

She's been gone a couple years now. They say "time will heal", but I gots news: they lie like rugs.

This month though, I'll run through some of the better mom stories...

06 October 2007

Who Knew?

Via Nautical Dawn, we get the "Name That Disease" quiz



NameThatDisease.com
NameThatDisease.com - Test your disease knowledge


That was too easy

03 October 2007

Update on Red, 03 Oct

Ok... red's had the operation to remove his right leg at the knee, and part of his right index finger (guess we'll have to teach him to shoot using a different technique). He's doin' fine, and looks forward to seeing the Nation at National this January...

everyone who's sent kind thoughts, thanks a bunch!

02 October 2007

About Bronco

Just received this via email:

Hey All,
Bob Gaynor of channel 12 in cincinnat sent me the full video on Bronco
and our trip to kentucky. They got his last name wrong but it doesn't matter
we all know who he is and what he did for those kids. If every one from baca could please send channel 12 and bob gaynor a heart felt thanks for doing this for us the central ohio chapter and Bronco's family would be greatful.


You can view the piece here.

another something I don't normally do...

... is endorse comics. Most of my daily read are already VERY well established, so whatever contribution the three of you would make ain't much. However, I just discovered via Skippy's List a new one, that promises to be all that and a bag of chips: Shadowgirls.

Go... read... enjoy!