10 July 2007

Pregnancy Tests

Heh... this post over on Crass Pollination reminded me of my first girlfriend...

See, she was always late. And usually only a couple days (we're talking less than a week). But she was late (by her figures), and therefor, worried that she may be pregnant.

It wasn't an every month thing, but damn close. Especially if we were having problems in our relationship (which was quite often: I SHOULD have gotten out after the first six months. I stayed for two years).

So, every couple of months, I'd get The Call: "OH GOD, I'M LATE AND I THINK I'M PREGNANT!". At which point, yours truly would run to the drug store, pick up a preggers test, and head out to her home... to find out that, yet again, there was no actual crisis. Finally came to a head one day, when I was getting ready to drive to the other side of the state (picking up my best friend at college)...

The Call comes in again. This time though, I'm jaded: "Ok... I'll drop a test off with you at school, and you can tell me the results when I get back".

She was less than happy with this plan of action. The only thing I'm sure she DIDN'T call me was a white gentleman...

I stuck to my guns, dropping off a test for her before she left for home. Had a fun lil' arguement in the parking lot about my cavalier attitude. I think my response kinda shook her a bit: "You've been late almost every month we've been together. Take the test, and we'll deal if it's positive. Until such time, do NOT expect me to get all worked up because you can't actually figure out your cycle!".

Oddly enough, I didn't get a kiss goodbye after that show of concern...

The punchline? When i got home that night, I called her. The only thing she had to say? "Negative"...

2 comments:

Hammer said...

I guess after too many false alarms I would be the same way.

phlegmfatale said...

gawd, how utterly tedious. Why did you break up? *grin*