Via Cranky Professor

We find THIS marvelous misuse of technology.

My big question is, what about the Pavlovian response? You know... girl finds a piece of music that works REALLY well. And then one day, driving down the road, that piece comes on the radio... and she suddenly has a wet seat. Most likely, while on the way to a job interview...

You ladies all have fun with this...

Perspectives: yall NEED to read this!

Matt G, Ambulance Driver, and Babs RN have written a collaborative piece titled Perspectives. You get to follow a hypothetical case from the start (Matt as the Responding Officer), through the ride in the 'bolance (That'll be AD), and into the hospital (where Babs takes over).

Read it... share it. And maybe, just maybe, folks will start to THINK before doing something stupid.

PS: After you're done, read Babs' "For the Record". There's a lil' bit in there that REALLY resounds...

"But that doesn't mean we don't feel. We just have to do it .....later. After all is said and done.

Because if we ever stop feeling, it's time to get out.

And just so you know, after dealing with the real "Bobby" from my part of the story, I needed to cry."

Y'all will pardon me for just a moment: I know EXACTLY how Babs feels here. The children I deal with, it often rends the heart... and we can NOT show that in front of the kids. When you hear what Uncle Buck did to little Johnny, it makes you want to hurt Buck... which, if Johnny picks up on, can easily translate to "I made the bikers mad". So we stand there, stoicly, listening to the stories our kids tell us... and fume. We do our jobs, sometimes standing watch over a house in the wee hours, so that child will feel safe... and we ache inside. And, quite often, when we get home... we cry like lil' babies in need of a bottle...

Babs... I feel for ya on this. Give your kids an extra squeeze, an remember you can only do so much...

So I have a friend...

Ok... I'll wait for everyone to stop laughing.

So... one of my Supporters Seeking Membership (BACA hopeful) who's in the National Guard. He's also been having trouble finding a job outside the Guard. But he finally found THE position for him...

Teaching in Africa.

He's raving about the listed pay: something like $50K. More than he made in the sandbox during deployment. When I pointed out that he'd be getting shot at, without being able to shoot back, he listed out the procedure...

"Nope! There's nowhere in the listing that says you can't have a weapon! I'm bringing money, and buying an AK and a sidearm! I figure I'll teach 'em english, and maybe take out a warlord or two! Set me up to get into Blackwater! 'Hey... you taughht english in Africa... how's that helpful?' 'well... I taught 'em english, and we worked small unit tactics for extra credit!'"

My gawds... what a freak...

In BACA news:

They probably don't know about this corner of the intraw3bz, but I'd like to give everyone a chance to say "hi" to the newest BACA chapter: the Cenla Chapter, out of Alexandria LA. That makes for three in AD's neck of the woods...

Stop my their site, and maybe tell 'em thanks for what they do. Feel free to tell 'em Strings from Maritime WI sent y'all!

A bit o'linky love...

Some of you may be familiar with the 213 Things Skippy's no Longer Allowed to do in the US Army. What you may NOT know, is that "Skippy" has a blog.

Go check his stuff out: guy's a riot!

heh, heh, heh...

Some might not realize it, but i don't have a TV. Or, more correctly, don't have one hooked up to the outside world. So there are things I miss...

Bitter posted this over at Bitch Girls, and I couldn't stop giggling. Enjoy!

Wow... my first blog award!

well... I'd like to thank the Squeaky Wheel Seeking Grease for giving me a blog schmooze award. Odd... I never thought of myself as all that schmoozy (or maybe she's just hot for me bod... heh, just about as likely)...

Now, I'm supposed to nominate 5 other blogs who I feel draw me in. So I'm a-gonna take a lil' stroll through my daily, and see if I can't find some deserving souls to hit with this...

Ok, I think I gots it.

First up, Cranky Epistles: she manages to draw me in with snarky descriptions that paint vivid pictures in my mind. Absolute genius: were I going to take college courses, I'd want her as my advisor...

Second choice: Medicmarch of Meat in the Seat. Snark, antics, and a really good attitude towords his own self-worth. If AD isn't available to work on me in an emergency, this guy is my second choice (ok... he's lower on the list than that. Obviously, I'd rather have Babs, ERMonkeygirl, and Nurse K. But if THEY weren't available either)...

Third up, (and here I step away from snarky folks a bit), Football Fullback of The mind of Me. If you haven't read this young man's writing, do so: WOW! Of course, he's been corrupted from normal teenager idiocy by his mom, Babs. dude has a brain, and a Hell of a way with words...

Fourth: Don Gwinn, the Armed Schoolteacher. Don't know 'bout y'all, but he just oozes schmooze: just look at that hat!

My final pick (why only 5?), Matt G of Better and Better. He's just about as good as Law Dog at drawing you into his world, and making you want more...

Granted, I tried to make sure I didn't pick folks that already had the award (which actually means most of my daily reads were automatically removed)...

via Law Dog...

... who was surfing funny stuff instead of finishing the pink Gorilla story...

We get this.

I LOVE it!

Tam said everyone was doing it...

... and it seemed harmless enough!



Not NEARLY cool enough: needs more clothing choices (like a kilt, and a cycle jacket). But ok, overall...

And yes, I would jump off the cliff, depending on which friends were jumping (there's a gaming story there)...

While doing my normal reading

So... Cranky Prof had this link up on her site, and I couldn't resist adding my two cents.

Appearantly, a couple was so obsessed with video games that they completely neglected their two children (a boy age 22 months and a girl age 11 months). Kids were at the point of starvation, with numerous other problems.

I'm not going to go through this for highlights: I'd get too pissed. But somebody please explain why this ambulatory incubator and her sperm donor should NOT be beaten to within an inch of their existance (I won't call what they have "lives")...

Everybody likes a party

Yeah, i know... y'all probably get tired of hearing about BACA. Don't like it, go somewhere else... :P


Anybody near Rockaway Beach MO, give some thought to attending the Bikers and Babes at the Beach event. This is a big party, meant to raise awareness of BACA in the community. It's being held August 17th through the 19th. Sounds like a LOAD of fun (if finances allow, I'll be there).

Anybody that does go: my brother Guru will be broadcasting live for the independant radio show BACA Nation: stop in, say hi, and tell 'im Strings sent ya!

Some here may know him...

The man who got me interested in blogging. I refer, of course, to the illustrious Law Dog.

Now, I started reading Mr Dog for his wonderful stories. Unfortunately, he's let a LOT of people down... by never finishing this one. There are hundreds of people (if not thousands), eagerly awaiting the completion of this epic tale...

So... I've got a suggestion. I know I've got at least 2 other bloggers reading this. Y'all post the link, and The Plan: we start posting to Mr Dog to "please, please, PURTY PLEASE finish the story. And we'll quit buggin' ya."

Maybe, if he's made to understand just how many folks have been patiently waiting for this, he'll be able to work through his writer's block!

(if that doesn't work, I've got a stuffed emu and a Bugs Bunny t-shirt that I'll have delivered to his sherrif)...

Yet another Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

And then there's this wonderful lil' story. Some highlights:


"FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida (CNN) -- Francisco Rodriguez owes more than $10,000 in back child support payments in a paternity case involving a 15-year-old girl who, according to DNA results and the girl's mother, is not his daughter."

Ok... lemmie get this straight. Dude is not the father, and knew nothing about the child for years (the child was 11 when he found out, if my math is correct). Yet he's still responsible for her support?

"Yet the state of Florida is continuing to push him to pay $305 a month to support the girl, as well as the more than $10,000 already owed. He spent a night in jail because of his delinquent payments."

For a child that's not his. A fact that's backed up by DNA testing and the mother's own testimony. And WHY is that evidence not good enough?

"He missed the deadline to legally contest paternity. That's because, he says, the paperwork didn't reach him until after the deadline had passed."

So... now there's a deadline for exculpatory evidence?

Read the article. We have loads of actual deadbeat dads out there, but guys like this get targeted for fisting by the system.

There's a reason I don't read the news more often...

... it's 'cause I would spend too much time pissed off.

Caught this via Tole, and decided to do my part to spread it.

I'm not a "major player" in the blogosphere: I'd say I'm a fairly minor point for people to come and laugh (usually at the silly biker in the kilt). So... I'm gonna ask all the rock-stars of the blog world (the one or two who read me) to maybe think of spreading this themselves.

At the bottom of Ms Malkin's piece is a link to send well-wishes to this poor airman, and I think that flooding him with "Get Well Soon!" notes would do a lil' bit to ease his pain.

Losses in the menagerie...

This post over a Squeeky Wheel got me to thinking about some of the losses we've endured over the years...

See, I grew up in a menagerie. When I left home, we had 12 cats, 2 dogs, three ferrets, and 2 morning doves. When Janet and I started a life together, it was three cats, 2 of the aforementioned ferrets, and the landlady's pets (ball python, rosey boa, and a great dane). So I've burried a few animals over the years. The last couple have been a bit hard...

Our first personal losses were the ferrets. Little buggers only live so long (long enough to wrap your heart around their paw). Since marriage, I've burried 6 of the buggers (4, plus the current rafter panther, were adopted from a friend). Cats, I've dug graves for 2: Spoon's little Detroit (a tuxedo with white feet and tail tip: four on the floor and a tail light) and a lil' girl named Sucki (Sooki, short for Succubus: she lured you in with her charmes, then would try and eat you). There's also been an adopted bearded dragon (he was just old), and MY common boa (who's the reason I will NEVER cheap-out on an animal again. Transfered him to a new tank, and tried reusing the tank heater from his old one. STUPID!)...

Over the years, I've discovered that I HATE digging graves. There are some other little bits I hate about the whole process though:
- having a pet die at the vets, and having said vet IMMEDIATELY hand you the bill
- the feeling (or sometimes, certain knowledge) that I could've prevented this
- the actions of the other animals, trying to find the missing member of the family

We're at 5 cats and a ferret now. No more ratfter panthers after this one goes (although he's been INCREDIBLY long-lived). And I want to keep the cats to 2 from now on. And the next time I buy a pet OTHER than those, will be a frelling cappuchin: I want a pet that will at LEAST come close to living as long as I do (besides, I could take a 'puch to Faire with me)...

Found at ERMonkeygirl

Cruising my daily after watching Season 2 of Venture Brothers (which is more twisted than Season 1), and I find this over at ERMonkeygirl:

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Actually, I fully expect to cash in at the hands of a perp, trying to shield one of our kids. And really, only expect to be remembered by a rectangular patch saying "Strings: 1972-20??". So this one comes as a supprise...

Hee hee hee...

Bitter over at Bitch Girls had someone hotlink a pic to use as a background on Myspace. Bitter, being Bitter, decided on some revenge. This is PRICELESS

Via ERMonkeygirl...

... we get this gem. Some choice bits:

"LONDON (AP) - Oscar Pistorius believes he has the talent to compete against the best Olympic-level runners in the world.

Pistorius, a double-amputee who races on carbon fiber blades attached below his knees, will get his chance this weekend when he runs in a world-class able-bodied race for the first time."

Stop and think about this: he's a double amputee, with prosthetyics instead of lower legs. And he's running against Olympic level athletes. My only question is, how does he move so fast with such large brass cojones?

"He began running four years ago to treat a rugby injury, and nine months later won the 200 meters at the Paralympic Games in Athens, Greece."

To add to the size of da balls here, the man was playing rugby. Without lower legs.

"His personal best in the 400 is 46.56 seconds and he hopes to race under 46 on Sunday. In five years from now, Pistorius wants to be running sub-45.

Wariner has the fastest 400 time this year of 44.02 seconds, and Steffenson's best time in 2007 is 45.07. Michael Johnson holds the world record of 43.18."

And the dude is only 4 seconds behind the world record for the quarter mile. DAYUM! (My best was 51.somethingerother, as a split during a mile relay)

Now, there's some debate as to wether the "blades" he runs on give him an "unfair advantage". To which he replies:

""If they ever could find evidence, then I would stop running. It's not something I would want to compete at if I knew I had an unfair advantage."

Wow. Just... wow...

Oh. My. Gawds!

Just caught this guy via AD, and had to add to the blogroll...

I gotta warn y'all though: put ANY beverages away before reading. And, if you're at ALL thin skinned, wear some good leathers!

Pregnancy Tests

Heh... this post over on Crass Pollination reminded me of my first girlfriend...

See, she was always late. And usually only a couple days (we're talking less than a week). But she was late (by her figures), and therefor, worried that she may be pregnant.

It wasn't an every month thing, but damn close. Especially if we were having problems in our relationship (which was quite often: I SHOULD have gotten out after the first six months. I stayed for two years).

So, every couple of months, I'd get The Call: "OH GOD, I'M LATE AND I THINK I'M PREGNANT!". At which point, yours truly would run to the drug store, pick up a preggers test, and head out to her home... to find out that, yet again, there was no actual crisis. Finally came to a head one day, when I was getting ready to drive to the other side of the state (picking up my best friend at college)...

The Call comes in again. This time though, I'm jaded: "Ok... I'll drop a test off with you at school, and you can tell me the results when I get back".

She was less than happy with this plan of action. The only thing I'm sure she DIDN'T call me was a white gentleman...

I stuck to my guns, dropping off a test for her before she left for home. Had a fun lil' arguement in the parking lot about my cavalier attitude. I think my response kinda shook her a bit: "You've been late almost every month we've been together. Take the test, and we'll deal if it's positive. Until such time, do NOT expect me to get all worked up because you can't actually figure out your cycle!".

Oddly enough, I didn't get a kiss goodbye after that show of concern...

The punchline? When i got home that night, I called her. The only thing she had to say? "Negative"...