Was talking with my partner Dub the other day, and discussing the whole concept of "family".
See, Dub's old school: you stand by your family, even the one's you're not related to. And you stand by them come Hell or high water, backing their play. you may not agree with their chosen course, but you're there to help.
Oddly enough, that's how I was raised: you stand by your family. Of course, I was also raised that, when someone proves that they really AREN'T family, you boot 'em to the curb with the rest of the trash. Conversely, when someone demonstrates that they'll be there, you adopt 'em (usually over their violent protests).
Some here may know a bit about my family situation: I divorced almost all my original brothers and sisters, trading 'em in on better models (actually, Dub is in that "new & better" category). You would not BELIEVE some of the folks I've adopted over the years.
There's Fluke: a good friend of our ex girlfriend: she's always been there for Squeaker, and she's DEFINATELY been there for me over the last few weeks.
There's Dub: whom I had only met a couple times, but was able to pour my heart out to when things blew. And who's problems I've heard quite a bit. But we still back each-other
There's our Jules: another girl that I'm in love with (despite her getting ready to marry an actual nice guy). She hadn't done more than talk to me on the phone a few times when mom died: when I stepped out of the house to make the necessary calls, I called her first. And her immediate response, upon hearing of mom's passing? "Do you need me up there?"...
There's Turk, one of my oldest brothers. That boy and I have a LOOOONG history (some of which, I'm not sure the statute of limitations has run out on yet). The man who stood up with me at my wedding, keeping me from running out on on The Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me (you DID know that this is the job of the groomsmen, right?).
There's Skip (some on the boards know him as Bedlamite). Remember the phrase "friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies"? Yeah...
There's AJ: a woman without whom, I would be dead today. When my career in Unca Sugar's Yacht Club went pear-shaped, she was the person who kept me from shuffling off this mortal coil.
And then there are the inlaws.
Remember the old cartoons, featuring the "House of Tomorrow"? How the mother-in-law was always getting offed in some way? Yeah... wouldn't suggest trying that with my Nancy-mom: dad and I would probably be tripping over each-other to do damage to the offending party. When mom was sick, Nancy would drive a half-hour one way every day to take care of her ('cause she hated mom so much, you know). Christmas was always done like many others: Spoon and I would go to her parents on Christmas Eve, and my parents on Christmas Day. Trick is, it'd be the same group of people at both locations: my parents would come out for Eve, and her family would come out for Day. There may be a few different additions here & there, but it was one ginormus family, not two seperates...
There are loads of others, but I think you get the drift: the people you meet in life, that you end up leaning on most (and acting as a crutch yourself when needed). The people that, if you honestly got down to it, probably know you better than you know yourself (and yet are there for you, despite that).
So Dub and I got to talking about this, going on until Spoon got home from her new job. And it made me think of some of y'all on here, and comments on some of my recent posts.
I'd like to thank y'all. There was a time not all that long ago, where I was ready to throw in the towel and just say "fuck it!". I was afraid of posting some of what's gone on (and is going on) in my life, because I was afraid there would be general condemnation. Instead, y'all saw someone in pain, and reached out.
You've almost restored my faith in humanity, folks. Good job! Y'all go get yourselves a cookie.
And if you're ever going to be in NE Wisconsin, let me know: I kinda owe you one anyway.