07 February 2008

Infernal Revenue Service

Crystal's post here reminded me of some fun I had with IRS, and I figured I'd tell the story here...

MANY years ago, I got a notice from them stating I owed some ungawdly amount. Also listed me as having certain assets that I knew weren't mine, but dad's. So I call the handy helpline they provide...

First off, they REALLY need to outsource to India. Seriously, I have an easier time understanding the helpdesk folks there than the IRS people.

Anyway, I get to spend a DELIGHTFUL couple hours on the phone with this woman, patiently explaining that, while I AM "BACA Strings", it's "BACA H Strings", not "BACA T Strings" (dad's name). It literally took a couple hours to pound that concept through the woman's head. Finally, she understood...

IRS Drone: "Ok... so you're saying that this debt is your father's?"

Me: "YES!!!"

ID: "Oh... ok. So... when can you make payment on the debt?"

Me: "What? You expect me to pay my father's tax debt?"

ID: "Well... you have to"

Me: "And if I don't?"

ID: "We put a lien against your assets"

Me: "Tell you what: start the procedure to put a lien against MY assets for a debt owed by somebody else. I'm sure my lawyer would enjoy that: he hasn't tasted any IRS ass in ages"

Things went downhill from there. Finally ended up talking to a manager, making it ABUNDANTLY clear that, any action taken against me for a debt owed by someone else would result in lawyers, congressmen, and the media being contacted in a full-court press. He got the rather subtle hint...

Then I went over to the house, and threw a snowball at dad. HE could've spent the time on the phone clearing this up, instead of foisting it on me!

1 comment:

Jenna said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one who got stuck in IRS purgatory due to the inability of the government critter to grasp I was

1) Not my dad.
2) 19... not 49.
3) Female
4) Going to give them $48,000 round about the time I took a snowboard jaunt through Hades.

Really sad thing? After the 8 hours I spent on the phone, my dad had to go through another 17 to manage to get them to grasp that HE was not in fact - his own father OR deceased.

Sigh. How much does it take to start your own country?

(Glad to hear you got it sorted out. And now I'm jealous I didn't get to bean da with a snowball. Got him with the hose instead!)