What good's a sailor...

... without some sea stories?

Glad you asked... ;)

I was on the USS Duluth for awhile, as an IC tech. Putting me in "E" Division, which was full of some seriously twisted individuals...

So... we're on WestPac, and pull into Hong Kong. This was before it reverted to the Chinese. While there, we took on stores for the trip home. What I hadn't thought much about was the fact that our berthing compartment was right above the Dry Stores room: so, anything headin' that way essentially went through our bedroom...

I go out that night, and come back around midnight or so. To find most of the EMs on the ship giggling like lil' girls, just outside the door to my rack space. Being the curious type, I have to ask... "So... what's gotten into you lot?"

"Dude... you HAVE to check out Jamie... it's funny... just take a look"...

Now Jamie was one of the PO3s of the EM shop, and someone I held in some respect: respect that would grow when I got back to the States, as he took his own time to head to the hospital when I got jumped (making sure it was a friendly and familiar voice I heard when I woke up). And his rack was two above mine. So I open the door, slide back the privacy curtains (expecting what, I'm not sure)...

During the ontake of ship's stores, some lazy slug had left a 50lb burlap sack of rice sitting in our compartment. Jamie was fairly drunk, and his fellow EMs thought it would be cute to give him a "friend" in his bunk that night. Not sure WHAT the boy was dreamin' about, but he was makin' love to that burlap sack like she was Ms Universe.

I shook my head and went to sleep. Woke up the next morning to find 50lbs of rice sitting in the walkway between the racks. NOBODY from "E" Division would eat rice the rest of the trip: didn't want the extra protein supplement...