02 June 2009

Filler, but funny...

Just read some of the obituaries from Car and Driver magazine. Some choice snippits:

Rest in Peace

HUMAN MEMORY
After a famously long career spanning more than 200,000 years, human memory died this month. For millennia, memory had been considered an invaluable evolutionary tool, preventing, as it did, Homo sapiens from committing the same stupid mistakes eight to 10 times in a row in front of their spouses. Memory’s slow and sad decline was first noticed when U.S. drivers could no longer remember when to use fog lights and thus left them on always. In the summer of 2008, memory suffered a second—and fatal—blow when North Americans, in the space of 120 days, could no longer recall $4-per-gallon fuel and went back to buying pickup trucks for style’s sake.

Human memory is survived by knee-jerk reactionaries and blowhard radio talk-show hosts, who have promised to fill in.


In Passing

RENTAL-CAR ABUSE
A national survey conducted by Hertz, National, Alamo, Dollar, and other rental agencies revealed the heretofore unannounced death of gratuitous rental-car abuse by white males under the age of 30.

“We were shocked when we analyzed the data,” said a Hertz spokesman. “But it’s increasingly clear that young men just aren’t putting the transmission into reverse at 50 mph, aren’t redlining engines for very much longer than five minutes at a time, and aren’t using the headliner as a napkin anymore.”
The rental community had previously assumed that abuse could be kept moderately healthy by automotive journalists. In lieu of flowers, friends of rental-car abuse are asked to make donations to the Aamco family.


Go to the link, and read the rest.
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I promise there will be more posts soon: life caught me this past couple weeks. Maybe Sly will return with news about how his oldest son has been grounded until after the end of the world...

1 comment:

Hammer said...

One time I had to rent a car for a couple of hours to make a reapir call. It was a new suzuki sedan of some sort. Basically a beer can on wheels.

I was able to break it in one afternoon.