The Tale of the Hondapotomus

Ok… you’ve all heard me mention my bike, the illustrious Hondapotomus. You’ve heard me curse it, and all the troubles I’ve had with it. You’ve read the stories of all the places it’s taken me. And you’ve seen the pics of it resting in the ditch after my lil’ accident. Maybe now, it’s time for me to tell it’s story (so far)…

After I had been riding for a couple years, Spoon decided she wanted to actually have her own bike. I was, at the time, looking at upgrading from the Kaw, since it’s kinda on the small side. So the plan was hatched: I get a bigger bike, and Spoon takes the Kaw (which she, Squeaker, and many others have learned to ride on)…

A friend had a bike for sale, and I wanted it. Actually, I desperately wanted ANY new ride: I developed a serious case of new bike fever. Unfortunately, my friend sold the one he had available before I could come up with the dough. Actually, I got the money roughly a week after he had sold it. So I had a grand, and a SERIOUS jones for a new scoot…

I started checking the classifieds, for ANY bike in that price range. And a guy in Valders had listed a ’76 Goldwing for around $1100. I made contact, looked it over (through rose-coloured glasses), and talked him down to $900. After I got it home, I started finding the problems…

First off, the stereo wouldn’t work right. I pulled it out, finding that it’s power supply was via an ungrounded extension cord, and that one of the speakers didn’t even have wires. Then we decided to check fluid levels: we were good until we got to the front brake reservoir: it was filled with transmission fluid (which I, mechanically declined as I am, recognized as a bad thing right away)…

So… a little electric work, clear the front brake lines, and we should be good to go. Drove it over to the DMV, and got a plate. We’re on the road!

But wait: a friend of mine wanted to take it for a spin. He was gone for less than ten minutes when he called: it wouldn’t go anymore. It was still running, but it wasn’t moving. Seems the universal joint on the drive shaft had broken.

Trailer it home, take it apart, and start looking for a replacement. The local Honda dealer could get one for a couple hundred: the local salvage yard had one for $100. Let’s hear it for used parts! But the joy was short lived: no, it didn’t break again, but we should have taken video of the process: could’ve won some money. But hey… we’re on the road again, right?

Nope. Wasn’t more than a month later, and the temp gauge went stratospheric after the bike warmed up a bit. Which was odd: the engine was still comfortable to touch, but the gauge was claiming that it was hot enough to melt rock. And the fan was NOT kicking on. Off to the shop, where THEY couldn’t figure it out either. But the handy mechanic took care of the problem: he hooked the fan up to a toggle: under 45mph, turn fan on. Over 45, turn fan off. Right AT 45? Flip it on and off constantly. But we’re good now, right?

Well… for a little while. See, the starter switch (the “make it go” button) was having… issues. And one day, shortly into the next riding season, it too gave up the ghost.

By this point, motorcycle repair via 12 ga rifled slug was sounding VERY attractive. But I came up with a novel solution: I pulled the wires out, ran ‘em into the fairing, and hooked up a simple toggle switch (to this day, that’s how you start the beast). NOW, we’re good to go… right?

For the most part, yes: until a few months ago. See, the back tire was getting, well, let’s say, “long in the tooth”. And EVERYBODY has taken great joy in pointing out that they TOLD me not to ride it without changing that tire. But, me being me, I went ahead.

And promptly had a blow-out at 75. I’ve already talked about this, so we don’t need to go into details.

So then I spent a couple days trying to get the Beast back up: check the rim, replace the back tire and tube, come up with a new system for tail light and tag. And, for the most part, she’s back on the road. Of course, the electrical decided to cause some more troubles: had everything working fine, shut the bike off, started it back up, and everything on the ass end went crazy. But it served through the rest of this season.

Before next season, I’ll be replacing the old girl with either a Harley Tour Glide, or a Triumph T-Bird (depends on what I find). The ‘Potomus? She’s being passed on to my VP and her hubby-to-be.

So… that’s the story of my love/hate relationship with a bike that’s almost as old as I am. Have to admit, she’s been a learning experience!