Aww, what the hell?

So I'm tooling through the blogosphere, minding my own business, and make a (belated) stop by Don Gwinn's place.

I like Don. He's always been a good board mod. He has a cool writing style. He wears a "Jayne hat". And lately he makes it sound like Illinois is gonna get concealed carry soon.

Wait a minute... I did NOT read that right, did I?

For a LONG time, my only consolation in this Gawdsforsaken frozen waste was that our gun laws were better than Illinois. No FOID, pretty easy to get signed off on suppressors and FA. Granted, we didn't have CCW, but neither did Illinoying.

Now, I find out that there's a bit of a push on down there, to correct their CCW lack. AND, they've had civil immunity* for four years!

Don, I don't like you no more... :(




*Basically, if you're involved in a self defense use of force, and the courts rule that it was a justified use of force, the goblin (or his family, if he passed over) can't sue you for damages.

Oh. Oh, my.

Caught this via Skippy: "Wannabe Vampires Are Totally Pissing Off Real Vampires".

I don't even know where to begin.

I'll admit, I've seen some serious freaks in my life. Hell, I've dated a couple of 'em (hey, they were hot). But this whole vampire thing?

Can somebody please bitch-slap Anne Rice now, for what she's inflicted on us?

Yes, "psychic vampires" can be considered a real thing. Everybody knows someone who just seems to sap the energy out of people. But explaining it as "vampirism"?

Worse, being basically proud of the fact?

Ok kids... time to come back to planet Earth.

Oh. My. Gawds.

So I'm cruising around, and catch this over at Atomic Nerds: 8 Year Old Girl Arrested for "Battery".

What. The. Hell?

I can kinda see some of the Zero Tolerance BS, and I could see the cops being called for a similar situation with a teen. But with a frelling 8 year old?

What kind of teachers can't handle an 8 year old in "fight or flight" without calling the police? I mean, all they had to do was get in the way, there was no need to go "hands on".

And the cops? Booking an 8 year old? Huh?

I suppose it coulda been worse, she coulda been tased.

Folks I have NO higher education. But even I know that, if an attempt to physically restrain a child results in their wigging out, the best thing you can do is back off. You'd think educators (you know: college degree an' all) would have been given that clue.

I'm glad I don't have kids: there would be some "educators" either looking at lawsuits, or hospital stays...

Does he ever stop getting funnier?

Lawdog has, apparently, seen a movie/read a book that features Ye Old Plot of "Unknown Heir must Save World". Something in this version of said Plot has kinda tweaked him.

Go. Read. I'll be here...

Back? Cool.

I have a new project now: I simply MUST make a "Sacred Swizzlestick of Horus". Good thing I'm getting supplies this week...

Recent news

I'm going to go on record and say that food poisoning sucks. Although I'm beginning to think that what's been happily kicking my ass the last few days is actually stomach flu.

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Chapter news: I have one member who's cancer has returned, one who's pregnant, and I'm just EAGERLY awaiting the next development. Anyone want a BACA chapter, cheap?

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My sister AJ just picked up a portable jeweler's bench. I must say, I've conceived a lust: thing is just perfect! And I THINK, with just a lil' work, it'd truely BE "portable" (needs a latching top and handles: not too difficult). Now if I can just remember where she said she got it!

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I have a confession to make: my slim posting is because most of what I have to say would revolve in the Realms Political, which I want to avoid here. There's two reasons for that:

1) Current politics depress the hell out of me

2) There are other who say what I want to, only much better.

I should have something child abuse related up in the next day or so...

the more things change, the more they stay the same...

Well, the Privateer has stepped into the technology age with a vengence: today, I picked up a crackberry, to replace the old Nokia that's been giving me problems over the past year.

And why did Spoon allow me to get the digital equivalent of cocaine? Because I made a mistake: 9 years ago, on this date, I said "I do"...

Man is not complete until he's married. Then, he's finished! ;)

One day, I'll find time to make digital copies of the day. Honestly, I don't remember most of it: I had been up WAY too long, and barely had the brain power to walk and breathe at the same time (chewing gum was right out)...

Something for those with young ladies in their lives...

My friend Peter posted this today, and it reminded me of something...

Not going into who wrote the following: that information isn't needed. I had this person write out her story, for me to share with others.

If you have younger women connected to you, especially if they have that whole "I'm immortal" thing going on, have them read this. I've edited it only for layout: the words are all hers:

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At the end of eighth-grade, when I was thirteen; I was walking home from school. When I was ten houses down the street from my house, there were two or three guys outside talking. They stared at me from the moment I turned the corner and started waslking down Prospect.

When I got a little closer, they started talking to me and I don't really remember what happened after that but somehow I ended up in one of the bedrooms on the second floor of the house they were in front of. I was raped in that house by two boys at the same time. The first person I told was my best friend, she called me a whore for what happened to me.

After that I did not tell anyone until I met with Strings from BACA in 2006. I didn't tell anyone because I was afraid of what they would call me after hearing those words come out of my best friend.

Today, ten years later, it still affects me. Every relationship that I have been in, I always think that they are using me for sex and then will leave me; thinking that about everyone who truly loves me has made me push them away. I feel like I am not worth anything to anyone but for sex.

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Folks, let your daughters/grand daughters/whathaveyou read through this. It's STILL a problem for her, even after all these years. These are wounds that do NOT go away, and can come back and ruin life decades later.

"No child should live in fear". Unfortunately, many do. The first step in keeping that from happening is educating them...

Holiday Announcement

Just thought I'd wish all three of my readers a happy Burns Night!

Side note: former crew member Squeaker is actually a decendant of Bobby. Adds a bit of a personal note to it!

Addition to the blogroll...

Caught word of him over at AD's place. Good read, and (unless I miss my guess), he hails from the same area as my favorite named BACA chapter.

Y'all go and take a readthough of Toad Suck Blues

The rest of the weekend...

Well... my thoughts of liveblogging feel through an alchoholic fog on Friday.

The day went well, with the opening ceremony and the start of the meeting. Things were smooth (except for some leg cramps: I have GOT to learn to be more patient, and avoid the stairs. Or get in better shape). The the evening arrived, and with it, Crown...

Would have been fine, except I just could NOT stop myself. I don't drink often, so I sometimes forget my limits. My big brother Horace did NOT help: he just HAD to mess with my reality, by apologizing for "teasing you about wearing a skirt".

Felt like I had slipped into Bizzaro world: HORACE, APOLOGIZING? Needed more alchohol...

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Woke up Saturday at 9... which is when the meeting was supposed to start. Managed to get up, dressed, and across the hotel in 5 minutes... still a lil' drunk. Spent most of the meeting trying to keep my stomach under control, and stay awake. Went back to bed afterward, and slept 'til 9...

The rest of the evening went fine: hung out with my brothers & sisters, listened to some great music (and some not so good karaoke), got a tour of the BACA Nation bus (if you haven't listened to 'em, hit www.bacanation.com), and just generally had fun.

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Didn't want to come home, except Spoon was here, not there. The trip home was uneventful: slept most of the way.

There were some... developments... at National, that will probably mentioned here as they come to fruition. Stay tuned!

Thursday at National

Well, as seems to be a tradition, my first day of National starts with insomnia: could NOT get to sleep last night. About the only thing a room does for me my first night down is give me a place to leave my stuff. This year, arriving an extra day early, means most of the people that would normally be up to visit with are (sensibly) asleep. Oh, well…

I’m gonna handle each day as a live blog: I’ll write it as I go, and post it all later. Should be… interesting…

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Day started out ok: mainly just hanging out, surfing the net, and BSing with my brothers and sisters as they arrived. Oh… and freezing my nether regions every time I wanted a smoke (couldn’t smoke in the hotel). And, as is usual, helping out where I could.: I can only sit around so long, before I have GOT to try and help with things.

And I DID have loads of fun. Of course, that meant I also got a total (as of somewhere around 1am fri) of three hours sleep since Monday…

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More later. And I’m not sure if I’ll be able to provide pics: frelling camera died… 

National, Pt II

Well well... ran into my big brother Guru, our International PR... well... guru. And he mentioned he's one of my readers.

Ya know bro, you could leave a comment once in awhile! :P

Today's been fun: just hanging out and relaxing, with the members of my massive extended family. THIS is where I feel most "at home": amongst a bunch of folks dedicated to fighting child abuse. They can sometimes be a lil' unpolished, but they're my brothers & sisters.

More tomorrow...

BACA International Convention

Well... I've safely arrived at National. And within the first hour, got felt up by one of my sisters (wonder how many times THAT'S gonna happen this year). Already met up with a bunch of folks I haven't seen in a year, and the feeling of "back with my family" has already started...

Gawds, it's good to be "home"! More through the weekend...

A prosecution too far (with apologies to Steven Ambrose)

So... we have a case in Greensburg PA, where 6 teens (3 boys, 3 girls) are charged with creating (or possessing) child pornography. Seems the girls took nude and semi-nude pics of themselves, and sent them to the boys.

Now, these kids get to have their lives ruined. All because a poorly worded law is being taken to it's lunatic extreme.

Reminds me of another case, where a teenage girl was busted for creating child porn: she had been taking pics of herself, and sending them out. Again: life ruined.

Folks, whenever a new law is proposed, THINK about the fullest extent it can be twisted to. Trust me: regardless of what is intended, someone is gonna run it all the way out to the edge.

H/T to Marko, who says it all far better than I can...

Leavin' for National...

Well... pulling the all nighter. I leave for the BACA International convention in 5 hours: my ride's picking me up at 0930.

It'll be good to see my brothers & sisters again, and share in the bonds that I've formed over the years.

Like I said before: I'm gonna TRY and post pics while I'm there. Depends on whether or not I have time to get any: I'm torn between hiding in my room practicing, going full-tilt flirt, or volunteering for security. We'll see what happens.

If I have any readers in the St Louis area, feel free to drop in and look me up!

Damnit! Something in my eye...

Found via Armed Polite Society:

Sometimes when old Marines die they do fade away into unmarked graves in Potter's Field.

Such might have been the case for Gaspar Musso, USMC 925050, who fought in the Battle of Tinian in the Marianas Islands in 1944 and who died Nov. 15 at age 84 in a Brooklyn nursing home.

Enter Police Officer Susan Porcello, a PBA delegate at the 68th Precinct in Bay Ridge and one of those big-hearted New Yorkers who still make this the best city on Earth.

"No way was I going to let this brave old Marine who fought for his country in WWII get buried in Potter's Field," she says.

Porcello first met Musso back in July when she responded to a 911 ambulance call to the retired insurance broker's one-bedroom apartment on, appropriately, Marine Ave.

"When my partner, Eddie Ennis, and I arrived at his apartment Gaspar seemed a little bit down about himself," Porcello says. "He said he felt alone in the world. We talked to him a bit and as I looked around his tidy apartment I noticed that he had served in the military - the Marines to be exact."

Porcello asked him about family and friends. "Look around you, what do you see?" Musso said. "I have no family or friends."

To which Porcello said, "Well, I'm your friend."

Right there, with those four beautiful words, Gaspar Musso was destined to die with the dignity he'd earned with a rifle in his hands, fighting in a USMC uniform, in a war that saved civilization.

If she didn't already wear a badge, you'd want to pin a star on Susan Porcello.

Musso, a diabetic with a host of other age-related maladies, had accidentally overdosed on his prescription medications. Porcello accompanied him to Lutheran Medical Center.

"I told him I'd be back to visit him and take him to a senior center where he could make some friends," said Porcello, who comes from a big Italian family with a mom, dad, three sisters and a brother.

"I told him I was making him my 'Grandpa,' and if he liked, he could spend Thanksgiving with my family. Eddie and I discussed alternating holidays with Gaspar so he wouldn't be alone for any of them."

Two days later Musso was placed in critical care. Porcello asked hospital staff where he'd be buried if he didn't make it. "Potter's Field," said one administrator.

"This infuriated me," said Porcello. "There was no way I was going to let a man who fought for our country be buried in Potter's Field. Not on my watch!"

Porcello told the hospital to keep her apprised of Musso's condition. She had a local priest visit him. Porcello even asked NYPD's Missing Person's Squad to search for next of kin.

No luck.

Musso had been an only child to Anthony and Marie Musso, both deceased. He had no other relatives. Musso's only friend, an upstairs neighbor, had died the year before.

After his health improved, Musso asked Porcello to become his official health proxy.

She transferred him to Caton Park Nursing Home, where he was treated extremely well. She visited him often, learning that Musso was born May 7, 1924, joined the USMC in December 1943, finished training at Camp Lejune in March 1944 and was fighting with the 2nd Marines on Tinian Island by July 1944.

"I visited Gaspar on Nov. 13, bringing him rosary beads, a Bible, and his reading glasses," she said.

"The next day, Nov. 14, I returned and found Gaspar sitting up in a chair, dressed in his own clothes. Looking great."

Porcello washed his hands and face, trimmed his nails and eyebrows and asked if he was coming to her house for Thanksgiving. "I'm trying!" he said. He also asked Porcello to bring him a Christmas wreath for his room.

The next morning Porcello received a phone call saying that Gaspar Musso had died peacefully in his sleep.

No way was she going to let her good friend be toe-tagged and buried in Potter's Field.

Porcello paid out of her own pocket for a wake at McLaughlin's on Third Ave. and a mass at St. Patrick's Church in Bay Ridge, where a crowd of good-hearted cops from the 68th Precinct filled the pews, six serving as pallbearers. Sgt. Angel Rosa of the 68th, also a Marine, arranged for a USMC honor guard at Musso's funeral.

Then taps blew over Gaspar Musso, United States Marine, as he was buried next to his mother at Resurrection Cemetery in Staten Island.

With the dignity he deserved.

Semper Fi.dhamill@nydailynews.com

Oh, by the way...

I'll post a larger version of the "Size Matters" pic later. Unfortunately, the original version was WAY too big (despite blogger saying it was "small", and in resizing, it wouldn't let me see any other version (note to self: don't do anything resembling "technical" late at night).

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In other news, I'm at T minus 33hrs 54min until I leave for St Louis, and the BACA International Conference (otherwise known as "National"). I will do my best to post at least one pic from the event, somehow. Anybody in the St Louis area that wants to stop in during the evenings (I'm stuck in the BoD meeting during the days), I'll be around from Wednesday night through Sunday morning. Drop me a line a lil' beforehand, and I'll give you my number. Or show up at the Hilton St. Louis at the Ballpark; 1 South Broadway and ask whichever patch you see where you can find "Strings, from Wisconsin".

I feel so ashamed... :(

I'm an embarrassment to Barack!


I only scored 17 on the Obama Test

Darn. And I felt so full of hopeychange before I took the test...

Public service for peds...

Over at Marko's place, there's his latest "Monday Search Term Safari". At the end of this latest installment, he gives some advice: "And, seriously–stop looking for underage porn, Comcast user in Minneapolis".

This post is for that user.

First off: I hope you follow the advice. Barring that, keep yourself ON the net: offend offline in meatspace, and you'll get to have fun with my brothers.

Second: if you want to find the REALLY juicy stuff, hit this site: has everything you need and deserve...

Seriously though: just knock it off, and get yourself some help (or get society some help: a .357 and one round would be perfect).

Size matters...

Just sayin'...

Maybe I have a problem

So I'm watching History while surfing, and they're talking about the apocolypse. One of the signs mentioned is "death from above", and they illustrate it by mentioning an asteroid hitting NYC.

Does it make me a bad person that my first thought was "Hey... so long as Bloomberg gets hit too..."?

I REALLY shouldn't pay attention to politics: makes me a mean-spirited person...

And to start the New Year off right...

I add a second job to make ends meet!

The magazine is going, but I'm honestly begining to think I need to find a different project: I have some problems with how this one is being run. So odds are, that banner at the top of the page will be changing here soon...

In the meantime, I'll be doing retail inventory for a spell. If nothing else, that'll help me pick up that new Triumph I've been drooling over...

Are we Rome?

So... someone on APS made the comment "Are we Rome? Yes, we are.". Which brought the reply "So America is going to remain a Republic for two more centuries, and then rule the world with an iron hand for 6 more? Cool!"...

I made a quick comment on the thread, but I want to expand here.

IF America is Rome, and we're going to follow the same path, then our fall will be at the hands of...

The Canadians.

Yes, in 800 years, the howling Canadian hordes will sweep out of the frozen north. With sword and torch, they will lay waste to our grand cities and plunge the world into a New Dark Age...

The sad part of this? I haven't had a single thing to drink, but this gave me the giggles...

Just a wish...

Here's wishing both of my readers a happy New Year, from the crew of HMS Privateer

From a brother of another mother...

Ok... one of my BACA brothers sent me this the other day. I don't think it really needs any preamble.

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America The Beautiful

America the beautiful, Government steals thy God from Thee
America the beautiful, mind control used on you and me.
America the beautiful, where the terrorists all roam Free,
Elected, from sea to shining sea.

America the beautiful, where the corporations live
America the beautiful, home where special interests give
America the beautiful, where congress will abuse the citizen
And say the means justifies the end.

America the beautiful, our borders are opened wide
America the beautiful, where evil doesn’t have to hide
America, the beautiful, where tyranny and corruption abide
Our Bill of Rights greedily pushed aside.

America the beautiful, for the people and by the people
America the beautiful, our politicians praised for being deceitful
America the beautiful, elected to a false catherdral
Patriotism requires more than kneeling ‘neath that steeple

America the beautiful, this country belongs to us
America the beautiful, not the people who abuse our trust
America the beautiful, the time has come to readjust
And take our country back from the unethical and the unjust.

Jason "Slytly Deranged" Carroll
11-17-06

Dipping into the sewers...

Now, as a general rule, I like to stay away from politics here. I argue about it pretty much everywhere else, so I try to keep this lil' corner clear.

Then I catch something like this, and all bets are off. Some snipits...

Caroline Kennedy said she was "surprised and dismayed" by her own voting record, after failing to cast her pick for the very Senate seat she now hopes to take over.

Anyone else having trouble wrapping their head around "dismayed at her own record"?

Kennedy offered no excuses for why she failed to vote in a number of elections since registering in New York City in 1988, including in 1994 when Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan was up for re-election as the state's senior senator.

She had gotten into Unca Teddy's secret stash?

"I was really surprised and dismayed by my voting record," she told the Associated Press. "I'm glad it's been brought to my attention."

Wait a sec: she's glad it's been brought to her attention? She didn't realize she wasn't voting? Isn't that kinda like not realizing you're not breathing?

In her first sit-down interview since she emerged as a Senate hopeful, the 51-year-old daughter of President John F. Kennedy said she has always pondered jumping into politics, but waited for the right moment.

Could I suggest maybe waiting a lil' longer, and doing it after you can keep track of what you're doing?

And the sad part is, she probably WILL get the seat...

Christmas Traditions

Everyone's got their holiday traditions. Maybe it's Christmas Eve at the grandparents', or an eggnog toast before bed. Some have established rules for when gifts are exchanged, or who goes where, or what-have-you. In our family, the traditions have always been fairly simple...

First off, I have NEVER had either turkey or ham for Christmas or Eve: it has ALWAYS been lasagne. With mom being Italian, it made sense. Christmas Eve was "catch-as-catch-can", finding whatever for food while mom went to Mass (dad and I were forbidden: putting either of us in a church on a solmen occassion was a recipe for disaster). Then Christmas day, we'd load the pan (a turkey roasting pan) full of Italian goodness into the oven right away in the morning, so that it'd be ready for people to gorge themselves later that evening.

Second thing I remember was gifts. In our family, THE important factor wasn't the cost, or the usefullness, or even the thought: it was the size of the package. Which sounds bad, until you realize the gift itself was secondary to the amount of ammunition the wrapping paper provided. Yes, everyone (including my mother) would end up in a wrapping paper fight. Usually, we'd still be finding balls of paper in July.

The last "tradition", you could say, was mom's habit of inviting ANYONE we knew that didn't have a full schedule that day. To illustrate: my first year in the Navy, she invited the base commander from RTC Great Lakes, as well as my Company Commander from boot.

And so our Christmas went. With the advent of Spoon, things changed just a little: Christmas Eve would be at her parents (which is where we'd also exchange gifts, and have the war), with Christmas Day at my mine. Understand here, the only thing different on either day was the location: the cast of characters was pretty much the same.

After a couople of years like this, mom passed: Christmas that year fairly well sucked. As in "large rocks off the seafloor". But we've soldiered on. Last year, dad and Spoon revived the tradition of lasagne...

What's this all leading up to? Well, this year (actually, while I'm typing this), *I* get to make the thing. I'm pretty good at sauce (which is simmering less than five feet from where I sit), but the rest is unknown territory.

Hopefully, it'ss turn out ok. If it doesn't, I'm blaming my mom-in-law (she's supposed to help with the actual construction). I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

Oh, yeah. If you're in the Manitowoc area, you COULD always pop in: the tradition of inviting all-and-sundry to dinner is still there...

The strangest things you learn...

So Spoon and I were watching some drivel in History about holiday foods. One topic that came up was the ubiquitous fruitcake ("the Rodney Dangerfield of the food world"). In amongst all the usual stuff (created in X, were handed out to women in England, blah blah blah), was an interesting lil' tidbit:

According to some guide or other, fruitcake has the same consistency as mahogany.

I looked at Spoon, smiled, and asked if she'd like fruitcake grip panels for her Kimber.

Oh... Squeaker? If you're reading this, how about a nice fruitcake handled knife for your F&I stuff?

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

From Better and Better, we hear about a woman in PA who is being charged with animal cruelty.

What did she do? She's (if I understand correctly) giving kitten piercings, and marketing them as "goth kittys"...

Ok, I'll agree that popping a ring in a kitten's ear isn't the most "humane" idea anybody's ever thought up. But it's worse than a parent doing the same to their 1 year old daughter... how?

More to the point: if we can go after this woman, for something so frelling minor, how can we explain all the ones that slip through the cracks?

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If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I'm VERY active in the fight against child abuse. A case was brought to my attention in nearby Appleton. Several children, raised by parents that social services describe as "hopeless". And yet, as dysfunctional as this family is, the children are left in the care of the "hopeless" parents.

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So... let me make sure I understand things. We'll knowingly leave children in a living situation that basically guarantees more dysfunctional lives, but we'll "rescue" kittens from someone doing the exact same thing many parents do without repercussion?

Sorry folks, but I am at a complete loss...

Differences

So... today we FINALLY got intrawebs access at our new berthing. This has been something of am irritation to us: we'd occasionally catch the public access wifi, but it was spotty at best, and only worked with my ladpot. We HAD scheduled an install, which we had to cancel to pick up 2 new cars (yes: both Spoon & I had to replace our vehicles at the same time. Talk about suckage).

So... plans were made, money set aside, and we were told the installer would be here "between 10am and noon". Guy called us at 0955, and was the most awesome installer I've ever seen: made sure we had signal, helped set up to make sure the net worked, even advised against the "self install pack" because it adds needless software to your machine. Finally got out of here at 1210 or so.

Which was good: my chapter VP was getting access installed today too, and called me for help. Now, keep in mind that this is the same company here. At her berthing, the guy made sure the cable had signal, handed her the modem and self install pack, and told her "follow the instructions" and left. The modem he handed her had the wrong transformer, and she had ZERO idea how to set the damn thing up anyway.

Two employees, from the same company. But WOW, what a difference in attitude!

On self defense

Jay G connects two posts by other bloggers: go forth and read. If you're interested in self defense (whether armed or not), this is all relevant.

The first post (by the illustrious Law Dog), is about the equipment issue. Unfortunately, far too many people look at everything as an "equipment problem", when far more often it's a training or mindset problem. Personally, I follow the Marine concept: "Be polite. Be civil. And have a plan to kill anyone you meet"*.

The second post, by Breda, talks more about mindset. And as Jay points out, 99 times out of 100, just projecting that you will NOT accept incivility will work. For that one time though, you'd better have the training and mindset to back up your projection...





Yes, when you first meet me, I'm detailing in my mind how to remove you from existence as quickly as possible should the need arise...

Stolen shamelessly...

From Voodoo Medicine Man:


To my family physician, my lawyer, my friends, and all others to whom it may concern:

I, Strings, being of sound and disposing mind and memory, do hereby make, publish and declare this to be my LIVING WILL. If the time comes when I can no longer take part in decisions of my own future, let this statement stand as an expression of my wishes and directions while I am still of sound mind.

If I suddenly begin to take an unexplained turn for the worse, before any drastic or irreversible decisions are made, it is my desire that someone first check to make sure my attending physician is not Dr. Jack Kevorkian.

Should my attending medical personnel determine that an organ transplant is necessary, it is my expressed wish that, if at all possible, the baboon be of the same faith as me.

If a kind soul takes it upon themself to read aloud to me, it is my fervent wish, as it was during my non-incapacitated life, that they skip directly to the dirty parts of the book, and then read those passages over and over and over again.

It is my expressed want that no family member, friend or acquaintance shall enter my hospital room bearing one of those tacky "Get Well Soon" helium balloons. Likewise, any get well card sporting Garfield the Cat shall immediately be returned to its sender.

I wish my TV set off whenever "Oprah" or “The View” are on.

If at all possible, I prefer "Depends" over "Serenity."

I would prefer that my visitors leave their small children home if all the kids are going to do is stare at me and play with my toes.

When it comes time to change my Foley catheter, I would prefer a nurse with untreated Parkinson’s disease perform the procedure while singing "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" to me.

At no time, even on the occasion of my birthday, do I desire to have a party hat placed on my head.

While I am not morally or ethically opposed to so-called “life sustaining equipment," I am vehemently opposed to the concept of hooking up such machinery to "The Clapper."

I agree to sponge baths only if given by a member of the opposite sex. Several members of the opposite sex at once is certainly acceptable and, in fact, preferred. Ditto for any "therapeutic Jacuzzis" that may be prescribed.

Please kill anybody trying to enroll me in Wii-Hab or similar nonsense.

It is my strong desire that in any and all elections that may take place, my absentee ballot be marked for the individual running opposite Barney Frank.

In the unfortunate event that the time comes to donate my vital organs, it is my wish that in all donations, a receipt be obtained for tax purposes. Also, do not give my organs to anybody associated with the IRS or the United States Postal Service—let those bastards die a slow and painful death.

No Jello or Ensure. Margaritas with Patron Tequila (preferably the Grand Platinum variety) will be acceptable.

When it comes time for me to give up the ghost, make sure the embalmer leaves a smile on my face.

This statement is made after careful consideration and is in accordance with my strong convictions and beliefs I want the wishes and directions here expressed carried out to the extent permitted by law.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and seal to this my LIVING WILL on this the 14th day of December, 2008.

In the market...

Wanted to buy or steal: one used time machine. Must be able to make small jaunt of 24 hours backwards: forward not needed. If you can help, please call...

I have roughly 72 hours worth of BS to fit into the 48 hours of the weekend. If I suddenly go silent, it's probably due to my head exploding...

My post about lies: to an audience of one.

I'd like to make something of an apology to one of my readers. My post about lies, while absolutely true, could be seen as a bit harsh given the surrounding circumstances. and I figured that posting this might help the situation.

If you didn't feel slighted by that post, you might want to skip the rest of this one. Not that I mind who reads it, but it's intended audience is one person.

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You didn't lie, but you also didn't communicate. Hopefully, I've set things as right as I can now: we won't be having any misunderstandings.

I DO stand by that letter, and what we talked about after you read it. And I DO wish you nothing but the best. Feel free to call if you want, or need me for anything. In the meantime, I'll not pester you.

Just for the record...

When you're involved in a group that has regularly scheduled monthly meetings for it's local chapter (the second saturday of the month), and the parent group has the locals host the annual Holiday Party the week before, you MIGHT want to suggest that the local people also hold their meeting at the same time...

did the Holiday Party/State BoD meeting last saturday. Now I have to go BACK to Milwaukee for their chapter meeting THIS saturday. As if I wasn't feeling ragged around the edges already...

Just Because...

Ok, it's been done on several others' blogs. No, I wasn't tagged, nor will I tag anyone...

100 things I've done - items I have done are in bold.

1. Started your own blog. Ummm... srsly?
2. Slept under the stars. Yeppers
3. Played in a band. For a lil' bit in high school (we talk about getting things started again, Spoon and I)
4. Visited Hawaii. WestPac...
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. Almost every damn day...
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Taught myself most of what I know about lost wax work...
15. Adopted a child. Counting BACA "Adoptions" here
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked. Both done it, and picked 'em up...
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise. Heh... does WestPac count?
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing. If you count a rock wall
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain. Painful memory now... :(
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching. Used to see 'em from ship occassionally
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone. Yep... running away from a sorority girl
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. Heh, heh, heh. I hadn't realized that the 'Potomus would go that fast...
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book. Does a column in a magazine count?
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible. LONG ago...
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Climate change and a new article

Ok... the next cocksmoker who says anything to me about how humans are causing global warming is getting anally violated with a large chainsaw. I'm just sayin'...

Spent a couple hours digging the cars out of a pile of "global warming". Are NOT happy.

And I'd like to go on record to state that changing 4 tires in the middle of a snowstorm sucks big boulders off the seafloor.

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In better news: OCC had made a chopper for Manitowoc Cranes, which is now on display at a local store. And it looks like I'm going to get to do a write-up on it for the mag! THAT should be fun!

There are some things I can't stand...

Everyone has a pet peeve: something that drives them absolutely wild. For me, probably THE biggest issue is lying.

Now, I understand some lies: we all lie to the cops, and suchlike. But to needlessly lie to someone you're close to... that's the epitome of low, and shows a complete lack of regard for the person being lied to.

Any relationship, from the barest of friendships to lovers, requires trust: you have GOT to trust that whoever's in the relationship with you will be honest. When that trust gets violated, it's problematic at best. Yes, there are times when the whole truth isn't a good idea: we've all been there. But usually the truth is better. And a needless lie, for the sole sake of not "being the bad guy"? Nope... doesn't pass muster.

I've been having... problems, lately. It's made my posting sporadic and depressing. That will be changing, from now. Not to say everything will be sunlight and roses, but the personal issues have pretty much solved themselves.

I'm sure some here have some clue what I'm talking about, specifically. I ask them to not say anything, in comments or email. Suffice it to say that I got hurt, and now I'm getting better. 'Nuf said.

Give me a day or two, and we'll get back to regular posting (I promise).

On a side note: maybe against my better judgement, I've given Spoon (my "first mate") access to post here. Not sure how often she will, but I figured "What the Hell". When she posts, please be gentle... ;)

One of THOSE days... :(

Ever have one of those days? You know: where you just do NOT want to get out of bed?

I'm having one now. Unfortunately, I never even GOT to bed...

Tonight is the board of directors meeting for BACA Wisconsin. I have NO choice but to attend, since I run the show. Unfortunately, I get to deal with personal issues, idiots, and now frigging SNOW. If there IS some form of divinity, They're getting a hell of a lot of fun out of me right now!

Begining to feel like all I have to say is depressing. Sheesh!

GAH!!!

Someone, please, just shoot me now!

Personal troubles... magazine having issues (no pun intended), BACA members (and whole chapters) getting messed up...

Pretty please, shoot me now?

Amen, brother!

Posted by JayG here.

I've mentioned my irritation with the whole "sheepdog" thing: this post exemplifies why.

Yes... honest citizens carrying concealed makes for a safer community. And I understand the concept that crooks don't know who's armed, so they're less likely to make an attack. But that whole "sheep/wolves/sheepdogs" thing strikes of people looking for trouble... and that doesn't help our cause.

Yes, most people are "sheep". Yes, there are "wolves" out there that prey on them. And of course, there are the "sheepdogs" (which is how I see the police). Me? I'm the badger off to the side, shaking my head at the whole mess...

What IS an "American"?

This thread over at Armed Polite Society got me to thinking. Y'all know, this is NEVER a good thing!

Anywho... I'd like to pose a question to anyone reading this. It may seem like a simple question, but I think the answers you'd get out on the street might surprise you.

The question? "What IS an American?".

Not talking about a legal definition. What do YOU think would be the defining characteristics that say "Joe is an American"? Every nationality has something: what's ours?

After some responses, I'll address my thoughts on it. I'd like to see what others think...

The Tale of the Hondapotomus

Ok… you’ve all heard me mention my bike, the illustrious Hondapotomus. You’ve heard me curse it, and all the troubles I’ve had with it. You’ve read the stories of all the places it’s taken me. And you’ve seen the pics of it resting in the ditch after my lil’ accident. Maybe now, it’s time for me to tell it’s story (so far)…

After I had been riding for a couple years, Spoon decided she wanted to actually have her own bike. I was, at the time, looking at upgrading from the Kaw, since it’s kinda on the small side. So the plan was hatched: I get a bigger bike, and Spoon takes the Kaw (which she, Squeaker, and many others have learned to ride on)…

A friend had a bike for sale, and I wanted it. Actually, I desperately wanted ANY new ride: I developed a serious case of new bike fever. Unfortunately, my friend sold the one he had available before I could come up with the dough. Actually, I got the money roughly a week after he had sold it. So I had a grand, and a SERIOUS jones for a new scoot…

I started checking the classifieds, for ANY bike in that price range. And a guy in Valders had listed a ’76 Goldwing for around $1100. I made contact, looked it over (through rose-coloured glasses), and talked him down to $900. After I got it home, I started finding the problems…

First off, the stereo wouldn’t work right. I pulled it out, finding that it’s power supply was via an ungrounded extension cord, and that one of the speakers didn’t even have wires. Then we decided to check fluid levels: we were good until we got to the front brake reservoir: it was filled with transmission fluid (which I, mechanically declined as I am, recognized as a bad thing right away)…

So… a little electric work, clear the front brake lines, and we should be good to go. Drove it over to the DMV, and got a plate. We’re on the road!

But wait: a friend of mine wanted to take it for a spin. He was gone for less than ten minutes when he called: it wouldn’t go anymore. It was still running, but it wasn’t moving. Seems the universal joint on the drive shaft had broken.

Trailer it home, take it apart, and start looking for a replacement. The local Honda dealer could get one for a couple hundred: the local salvage yard had one for $100. Let’s hear it for used parts! But the joy was short lived: no, it didn’t break again, but we should have taken video of the process: could’ve won some money. But hey… we’re on the road again, right?

Nope. Wasn’t more than a month later, and the temp gauge went stratospheric after the bike warmed up a bit. Which was odd: the engine was still comfortable to touch, but the gauge was claiming that it was hot enough to melt rock. And the fan was NOT kicking on. Off to the shop, where THEY couldn’t figure it out either. But the handy mechanic took care of the problem: he hooked the fan up to a toggle: under 45mph, turn fan on. Over 45, turn fan off. Right AT 45? Flip it on and off constantly. But we’re good now, right?

Well… for a little while. See, the starter switch (the “make it go” button) was having… issues. And one day, shortly into the next riding season, it too gave up the ghost.

By this point, motorcycle repair via 12 ga rifled slug was sounding VERY attractive. But I came up with a novel solution: I pulled the wires out, ran ‘em into the fairing, and hooked up a simple toggle switch (to this day, that’s how you start the beast). NOW, we’re good to go… right?

For the most part, yes: until a few months ago. See, the back tire was getting, well, let’s say, “long in the tooth”. And EVERYBODY has taken great joy in pointing out that they TOLD me not to ride it without changing that tire. But, me being me, I went ahead.

And promptly had a blow-out at 75. I’ve already talked about this, so we don’t need to go into details.

So then I spent a couple days trying to get the Beast back up: check the rim, replace the back tire and tube, come up with a new system for tail light and tag. And, for the most part, she’s back on the road. Of course, the electrical decided to cause some more troubles: had everything working fine, shut the bike off, started it back up, and everything on the ass end went crazy. But it served through the rest of this season.

Before next season, I’ll be replacing the old girl with either a Harley Tour Glide, or a Triumph T-Bird (depends on what I find). The ‘Potomus? She’s being passed on to my VP and her hubby-to-be.

So… that’s the story of my love/hate relationship with a bike that’s almost as old as I am. Have to admit, she’s been a learning experience!

To quote Law Dog:

Sweet Shivering Shiva! When did I get enough interest generated to find 15K hits?

Wow... the intertubes must be VERY dull lately!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! (V2)

OK... we're undergoing some refitting here aboard the Privateer. Nothing TOO major...

Hopefully, the changes will result in more content for the three of you... ;)

Gearing up for BACA National

Well... looks like it's that time again: registration for the BACA National Convention has started.

I'll be in St Louis MO from 14 Jan through 18 Jan. Kinda busy during the days, but anyone in the area is welcome to contact me and make arrangements to meet up in the evenings.

Squeaker will be with me, as will Tact (and of course, all my other brothers and sisters). Should be a hoot!

Election Liveblogging from Wisconsin

Ok… live from Manitowoc County Republican Headquarters!

Starting this shortly after Ohio got called by Fox for Obama. The current mood is “we’re screwed”. Gotta love that possitive attitude!

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Roughly 2130: talk here is about how to endure an Obama Presidency. Always want to laugh at the folks that talk about revolution at these times: like Joe Sixpack is going to revolt so long as there’s Monday Night Football…

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Side note: I have GOT to remember not to wear my colors at these things. BACA’s not supposed to have any political affiliation…

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Ok… somebody explain to me how they can call a state one way or another with less than 10% or the precincts reporting?

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Just a little comparison: last cycle, I spent time at the Republican Headquarters. Then, it was a larger space with a LOT more people. This time, we’re in a smaller space… and it’s almost empty. Kinda sad, actually…

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WAY too much doom 'n' gloom. So Obama is winning. All that REALLY means is that conservatives go from being in charge to being the loyal opposition. C'mon folks... presidents come and go...

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Fox just declared the election for Obama: current time is 2202...

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And it looks like folks here have given up: closing down the shop...

Suffering Electile Disfunction

Yes, I voted: walked over to City Hall, and cast my ballot for Beelzebub. Hopefully, he and the lady can pull enough electoral votes to defeat Asmodeus tonight.

Maybe I'll head down to the local Republican headquarters, to catch the results...

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Yep... there's been a few changes here on the Privateer, pretty much all for the good. Unfortunately, that makes for light posting...

First off, we're in new berthing: Spoon and I moved out of where we were (which I'm going to say as little about as possible) into a new apartment. Not completely moved in yet: we've been remodeling as we go. Should be finished within the first couple weeks of November.

We've also managed to pick up a pair of new long boats for non-riding weather: Spoon's in a nice Honda Accord (the "mom-mobile"), while I've regressed and picked up a '92 Eclipse (affectionately called "Bitchy", and wearing a "ticket-me-red" wrapper). No word yet on a new bike: going to be looking this winter, since I want to start the riding season on a new scoot.

BACA goes well: FINALLY bringing this state into compliance. Granted, there's been some kicking and screaming, but we're getting there.

Work's going... if my partner & I can ever get rid of the owner, we're sitting on a gold mine. Unfortunately, the owner wants us t dig thew mine with sandbox shovels.

Staying out of the political stuff: just want it frelling over. Been installing restraints and such in the handbasket, so maybe the trip down will be a lil' safer...

More later...

Experiments with Open Carry: rd 1

Ok... so, a couple weeks ago, I decided to start experimenting with open carry. Now in Wisconsin, OC is perfectly legal, but heavily frowned on. Not to mention difficult, since having a loaded gun in a vehicle is considered "improper transport of a firearm"...

Anywho... Spoon & I normally go for a walk every night: good exercise, and good for discussion. Couple Sundays ago, I added my S&W model 19 to my belt, along with a couple speedloaders (I refuse to carry a gun without reloads). So y'all understand, I wore it at roughly 11 o'clock, so it was right there in front of Gawd and ever'body.

Now, for anyone who has paid attention to the "debate" about open carry, you should be expecting a story of my arrest and subsequent charges of "Endangering the Public", "Disturbing the Peace", or other similar misdeeds. Unfortunately, I would have to file such a story under "fiction".

Even though I made a point of talking to a couple officers, NOTHING HAPPENED. Honestly, I don't think anyone (at all) noticed the revolver on my hip. For four nights running.

When my shoulder improves (do NOT want to deal with any issues until my right clavicle is again "bone" instead of "pieces"), I think I'll switch over to the pearl grips (yeah, go ahead and laugh: they're comfortable) and try the experiment again. If that doesn't get a response after a week, I think I'll just have to start calling BS on the "dangers of OC"...

current events

I had a great series of posts I was gonna run about the supposed evils of open carry, and my experiment therein: spent a good portion of the last week OCing my .357. Unfortunately, that has to be put on hold.

Was getting ready to regale y'all with the joys of moving into the new apartment. Although the move's gonna happen, I'm not gonna be all that involved in it.

Today, while playing in a charity capture the flag tournament, I went ass-over-teakettle. Resulting in one of the cleanest broken clavicles ever seen.

Hopefully, I'll be speaking to a surgeon this week about getting screwed. But it looks like the riding season is over for me this year.

Posting will continue to be light: this one-handed stuff sucks. But I'll try and keep y'all updated...

Not a good day

Shortly after I started dating Spoon, a cat got left at her mother's house. He was a tuxedo, and fairly friendly. He'd already been "broken" and declawed. We had no idea why he was abandoned. But he latched on to Spoon like velcro, and we called him Squee.

That was 12 + years ago. Everywhere we've gone, Squee has been with us: mothering the other cats, pestering Spoon, and just generally being one of the better cats we've had.

Today, due to complications in removing fibrous cists a couple months back, we had to have this animal, Spoon's companion for almost as long as I've been around, put to sleep. While she was at work, I held her boy as he died.

Going to be a bit before there are any more happy thoughts. Will be postihng pictures sometime in the next day or two...

The "sheepdogs" thing

Ok... I think most of y'all have heard this one. Goes like this:

"Most people are sheep: unable to defend themselves from the wolves. But some people are sheepdogs: armed just like the wolves, but there to protect the sheep. Unfortunately, the sheep can't tell the difference between the two: they see predator teeth, and equate the sheepdogs with the wolves, treating them with the same fear. But the only reason they're safe is the sheepdogs are willing to defend them".

There are a bunch of variations on this, most being passed on as "my father told me..." type stories. And they get brought up ANY time someone questions the intelligence of concealed carry for law-abiding citizens.

Now, so y'all understand: I'm a lobbyist for CCW here in Wisconsin. I support it enough that I have spent a fair amount of time busting my ass to try and bring us in line with the rest of the country. And I'M getting tired of the "sheepdog" thing.

Look... it may seem selfish, but my only reason for wanting to be able to legally carry a self-defense tool is to protect me and mine. Would I intervene if I saw someone being attacked? Most likely. But that is NOT why I would carry.

A CCW permit is not a "super hero license". All it is, really, is a way for the government to collect money on your decision to protect yourself to the best of your ability. The "sheepdog" folks (with the exception of those in law enforcement), come across as looking for trouble: something those of us fighting for the right to carry do NOT need.

Ok... I'm done ranting.

Why do it?

Probably THE biggest question I get asked about BACA is "Why do you do it?". People hear about all the sacrifices that members make, how far we're willing to go to help our kids, and they can't help but ask "Why?".

Check out Sabra's post here. I read these stories, and think "There goes another one I could have helped". It's a powerful motivation to help.

And the REALLY scary part? The stories she tells in that post aren't the worst that happens, even here in the US. Google "domestic human trafficking", but be warned you might get nightmares.

That's why I do what I do.

Expanding on my last post...

Ok...

So... one case we're working on kinda blew up: perp got out (they keep postponing the trial), and immediately made contact with the victim. Went to jail again, and got out again after a few days. We went Level II (means we mounted a guard rotation on the victim's house) for a couple days, until perp-boy went away again. Fun times!

The mag is goin' well... for the most part. I'm now the associate editor, and it looks like I'm going to be taking over full Editorship: the layout guy and I are going to buy out the owner. We've finally gotten tired of having out time wasted by the guy: spent a full week, waiting for the owner to bring us the material for the last issue. Good things ahead on THAT front!

There've been the usual run of small personal problems too. But they're more in the nature of minor irritations.

So... more to come soon!

Life explodes

Well... things have gotten interesting again. Can't go into detail: let's just say it should be interesting. I'll post more as things develop.

Oh... didn't get the Harley... :(

Eye-opening experience

Ok... so let me set the stage for this a bit.

For those who couldn't tell from the few photos, Sarah has a trach tube. This is from a house fire when she was 16. One of the things she told me about when we met was a "burn camp" she went to, that helped her overcome the emotional trauma the fire caused.

Ok... seems there's a local HOG chapter that does what they call a "Hearts on Fire" run out to the camp every year. They do a couple fundraisers, but the highlight for them (and for a bunch of the kids) was tonight: the ride out (there were 100 bikes for this year) to visit the kids.

I'll get the pics up in a couple days. Was WELL worth being up and running for 12 hours on this alone to cover the event!

Hmmm... another magazine?

Hey... would the two of you think worse of me if I started writing for another magazine?

Seems I might have an offer, from (of all places) Kink magazine. Wouldn't interfere with my current gig, would mean more money, and possibly even more job offers.

Here's a site that shows a couple covers: not sure if I'd be able to do this or not.

So... what say y'all.

A call-out to those of you who ride...

Hey all...

Seems Chris, Crystal's husband over at Boobs, Injuries, and Dr Pepper has a small problem:

Crystal won't let him get a scoot.

I think maybe we all need to email her, and help her see the error of her ways. Thankfully, she does NOT have my mailing address...

Go here, and let her know that motorcycles aren't dangerous! Let's help our brother out here...

Problems in NH

Via Tam, we get this. poor Marko, dealing with such a heinous crime!

Read the comments: they carry a class 3 beverage alert!

It's not the years, it's the miles...

So... been doing quite a bit of travel this season, what with the new gig an' all. Decided to see how much distance I've covered in the saddle so far: came out to a little over 2300 miles. Gonna be a 3-4k season easy. And that's only if I DON'T do any major roadtripping after getting the new bike.

Always fun though, to be talking to some RUB on his sparkly new HD, and have him giving me shit about my scoot. The look on their face when you ask them how many miles they've logged, and their total since they started riding doesn't equal what you've done this season (so far)...

Not something I would normally go for...

I consider Larry Correia a friend. When he opened FBMG, I passed out handfuls of business cards at BACA National to anyone from Utah. Spoon, Squeaker and I all proudly wear MHI patches on our colors. And, when the money is FINALLY there, I'll be sending Spoon out to him to pick out her SMG. But this one takes the cake...

Folks, my mother also suffered from breast cancer. She beat it, but I'd REALLY rather no other woman ever has to go through that. So the Privateer will be pooling some money, and buying some tickets this week. Heck... we might even win! I'm sure Spoon would love a pink rifle!

The tickets are $5 a piece. Surely y'all can each afford a five spot to help save the boobies?

New happenings aboard

Well now... haven't updated recently. Need to correct that...

Have a few folks showing an interest in joining the crew. But we're using a long interview process: don't want anyone jumping ship again...

Speaking of which: our old crewmember seems to have decided asking for help is ok to do. So... "Capn' Strings" trades his hat, and becomes "Dr Bill". Yes, I'm a sucker: sue me.

In other news, the magazine is getting better and better. THat'll be changing: they've made me Associate Editor (no jokes about me editing asses: they've already been made).

And my first mate and I are looking into getting a new longboat: the 'Potomus is nice and all, but we need something a lil' more reliable. Have a guy in the area that's selling an HD Tour Glide for silly cheap: now, to just get the money-lenders to see things our way...

That's about all we have happening right now. Maybe I'll get something snarky up soon...

Hope y'all will pardon me while I geek out...

Spoon just informed me that they're doing a movie version of the Watchmen. Since this is just about one of THE best graphic novels ever made, I HAD to go check the trailer.

Go here, trailer is on the top. Oh My Frelling Gawds: I think I'm going to need to change my kilt!

If the actual movie is even half as good as the trailer, I'll be in throes of ecstacy!

Holy Hannah!

I just scrolled down, and caught sight of my counter (don't really look down there often).

Jumpin' Jeebus on a pogo stick! When the Hell did I clear 10K?

Maybe I should pay more attention to that little ego-stroker...

Reincarnation DOES happen!

Law Dog has just adopted one of our old cats: reborn, but this story is our old kitty Suki* in spades!

Mr Dog, you have my heartfelt sympathies in agreeing to take care of a four-footed, cute, bandsaw


*"Suki" was short for "Succubus": she'd lure you in with her charms, then attempt to eat you

Computer woes

Ok, maybe someone can help me out here...

I'm running Win XP, with the latest version of Firefox. Every once in awhile, on Yahoo or MySpace (and once at Schlock Mercenary), Firefox committed seppuku and shut down. When it starts happening, I can foget about checking whatever site I was trying to view.

Anybody have a suggestion?

reaffirming my faith in humanity...

Given some of the stuff I've seen and dealt with, I tend to get a... jaded... view of humanity. To be blunt, I've had cops tell me that I shouldn't be so pessimistic of the actions and intentions of my fellow h.sapiens.

But when you deal with the absolute dregs (and you do NOT get lower than child abusers), it gets hard to believe that people can be good. Then you read something like this.

I would LOVE to see the video of the cops arriving.

Getting ideas from elsewhere

Was just reading over at the Pervocracy, and had to make some comments on the "Cosmo Girl" thing.

Are there REALLY women out there that gullible to fall for this stuff? I mean, come ON...ou'

And the part that really scares me is that guys will read this, to get clues how to act. Funny... I'm not all that great a catch, but something tells me that I would probably blow a "Cosmo Girl's" mind in a relationship. and I'm willing to bet there are a few others that would, too (Cranky Prof's hubby leaps to mind).

Guys... want to "win the girl"? Try being an honest human being. Girls... same advice to you. Makes for much better relationships...

And manning the aft/starboard guns...

Isn't life just a funny thing?

Don't want to say too much, and jinx things. But there have been several offers for additional crew aboard the Privateer, despite the fact Spoon and I weren't really looking all that seriously.

I'm sure there will be more to report on this in the somewhat near future!

Expanding on the column thing...

Ok... my column isn't "about" anything in particular. It's just my random observations as we go along. For some reason, the publisher likes how I write...

I was thinking of "Musings from the Open Road", for multiple reasons. First off, I write a LOT of the pieces while away from home (hence "from the Open Road"). Second, they ARE random thoughts ("Musings"). Third, I got my name because of all the instruments I play (which ties back into "muse")...

So... make sense? Or do y'all think I'm nuts?

Wait... that's a given. Is the idea nuts?

Need y'all's help...

Ok... so part of my job at the magazine is writing a column. The last two issues (June & July) haven't had any kind of title, other than the actual piece. So... I need to come up with a name for the silly thing.

That's where I need input.

I was thinking of "Musings from the Road", or something like that. But I'm just not sure. So why don't the three of you see what you can come up with? ;)

And life just keeps getting better...

Just got off the phone with one of my adoptees: seems another of said adoptees got in a bike wreck saturday, totaling his Harley. I found out tonight, in an email.

Ye gawds, what the hell is next? If y'all need me, I'll be chacking the horizon for the locusts!

Hooray! The weekend's over!

Well, made it through another 4th of July weekend with my sanity intact... somehow.

Was supposed to be grabbing a couple people from Illinois (my new lil' sis Fluke, and my boss' new girl Yvette) to bring up here in Thursday. Since I HATE day-tripping to Illinois, I thought "Cool! There's this new friend that wants to meet and spend time with me, I'll crash by her". Plans were made...

Then canceled. Another friend of hers needed her for an emergency. So I ended up crashing at Squeaker's.

Maybe not the best choice on the planet. But it beat sleeping on the bike in the rain.

Got up at 03:30 on Thursday, and taking her to work. Spent LOADS of time tooling around northern Illinois, until Yvette finally called to say she was done with work: at 2130...

I didn't get to bed until 0530 on Friday. Then had all the fun of the 4th to look forward to!

Lessons learned: have multiple options for crash space. Don't offer to give rides from Chicago (I HATE that town!). And, if you're likely to be up for over 24 hours, with lots of riding, take a nap at some point in there!

Relationship lessons

You know, I'm a pretty good councellor: I listen well, and give pretty good advice. Usually, when someone tells me they're going through a break-up, I tell them to cut the ties completely. I didn't follow my own advice with Squeaker, and I just got reminded why it's a good idea...

Don't misunderstand: I've been wanting her back. But I had pulled back, trying to give her space for her new relationship to work. Tonight, I sent her a text (related to work), and found out she was drinking: in her words, "to bring her problems to the surface".

Now, I don't know 'bout any of y'all, but that sounds (to me) like someone who could maybe use a little help, who's in pain. And I can't see someone in pain without trying to help.

I'm an idiot that way.

So... I spend about an hour, hour 'n' a half talking to her, via texts. She mentioned how "nobody can help me, not even myself", which sounded (to me) like she was giving up on herself. So I kinda hammered on that for awhile. And she responded with "I'm not giving up! I'm his"...

To me, this sounded like she thought the entire time I spent trying to help, was only an effort to "win her back". Made me feel like a complete idiot.

I could've been spending the time with Spoon. Or working. Or stabbing myself in the testicles with a rusty icepick. Instead, I was trying to help. And I got my emotional ass handed to me for my troubles.

Fuck that!

Up to this point, there was a part of me that really wanted her to come back. To try and make things work. That part just got locked away by the rest of my mind, in a deep dark hole. Kinda the way society used to deal with the mentally handicapped, which is kinda what that part of my brain is...

I know she occassionally reads this blog. And maybe, she hopes things can be cleaned up. Honestly, I don't trust her anymore. And without trust, there can't be love...

So folks, let this be a lesson: when someone leaves you for another, cut them out of your life as completely as possible. Maybe, at a later date, things can be revisited. But if you don't make that clean break, you're in for a world of hurt...

Sometimes, a distraction is enough...

Well... things have been going well the last few days.

Spoon lost her job selling shoes (LOOONG story: she got screwed). And she turned around, and got two others. One doing outside sales (which she may or may not keep), and she's also doing home care.

I had a dry spell for two years: couldn't even get a call telling me to go pound sand. Now I've got this job with the magazine, and I just got a call for an interview for a position at the Maritime Museum. Wouldn't be much: fairly low pay, but it would be extra money (and I love history anyway)...

The personal life still has it's issues, but I've met some cool people to help distract me. Spoon, of course, is still here: don't think I COULD get rid of her. And we've met a couple REALLY cool people through a new website called "Biker or Not". One of whom, we'll be meeting in realspace this weekend. Not only is this young lady fairly cool (AND hot, and a good distraction), she's got a friend that might just be interested in carrying my jewelry. So LOTS of good comes from that connection!

Even better: there's another position at the library here in town, that I'm in the running for. This one is making LOTS of money, and has an awesome benefits package. And, theoretically, I could do all three jobs (thereby getting us to new mooring sooner)...

Oh... and speaking of my jewelry? There's a shop here in town that wants to carry it: I'll be picking up a bunch of my stuff from my sis, and bringing it home. Things are just looking up all over!

Linking to others again.

Read a bit of this at Marko's, but Lab Rat pretty much says it all...

Family

Was talking with my partner Dub the other day, and discussing the whole concept of "family".

See, Dub's old school: you stand by your family, even the one's you're not related to. And you stand by them come Hell or high water, backing their play. you may not agree with their chosen course, but you're there to help.

Oddly enough, that's how I was raised: you stand by your family. Of course, I was also raised that, when someone proves that they really AREN'T family, you boot 'em to the curb with the rest of the trash. Conversely, when someone demonstrates that they'll be there, you adopt 'em (usually over their violent protests).

Some here may know a bit about my family situation: I divorced almost all my original brothers and sisters, trading 'em in on better models (actually, Dub is in that "new & better" category). You would not BELIEVE some of the folks I've adopted over the years.

There's Fluke: a good friend of our ex girlfriend: she's always been there for Squeaker, and she's DEFINATELY been there for me over the last few weeks.

There's Dub: whom I had only met a couple times, but was able to pour my heart out to when things blew. And who's problems I've heard quite a bit. But we still back each-other

There's our Jules: another girl that I'm in love with (despite her getting ready to marry an actual nice guy). She hadn't done more than talk to me on the phone a few times when mom died: when I stepped out of the house to make the necessary calls, I called her first. And her immediate response, upon hearing of mom's passing? "Do you need me up there?"...

There's Turk, one of my oldest brothers. That boy and I have a LOOOONG history (some of which, I'm not sure the statute of limitations has run out on yet). The man who stood up with me at my wedding, keeping me from running out on on The Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me (you DID know that this is the job of the groomsmen, right?).

There's Skip (some on the boards know him as Bedlamite). Remember the phrase "friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies"? Yeah...

There's AJ: a woman without whom, I would be dead today. When my career in Unca Sugar's Yacht Club went pear-shaped, she was the person who kept me from shuffling off this mortal coil.

And then there are the inlaws.

Remember the old cartoons, featuring the "House of Tomorrow"? How the mother-in-law was always getting offed in some way? Yeah... wouldn't suggest trying that with my Nancy-mom: dad and I would probably be tripping over each-other to do damage to the offending party. When mom was sick, Nancy would drive a half-hour one way every day to take care of her ('cause she hated mom so much, you know). Christmas was always done like many others: Spoon and I would go to her parents on Christmas Eve, and my parents on Christmas Day. Trick is, it'd be the same group of people at both locations: my parents would come out for Eve, and her family would come out for Day. There may be a few different additions here & there, but it was one ginormus family, not two seperates...

There are loads of others, but I think you get the drift: the people you meet in life, that you end up leaning on most (and acting as a crutch yourself when needed). The people that, if you honestly got down to it, probably know you better than you know yourself (and yet are there for you, despite that).

So Dub and I got to talking about this, going on until Spoon got home from her new job. And it made me think of some of y'all on here, and comments on some of my recent posts.

I'd like to thank y'all. There was a time not all that long ago, where I was ready to throw in the towel and just say "fuck it!". I was afraid of posting some of what's gone on (and is going on) in my life, because I was afraid there would be general condemnation. Instead, y'all saw someone in pain, and reached out.

You've almost restored my faith in humanity, folks. Good job! Y'all go get yourselves a cookie.

And if you're ever going to be in NE Wisconsin, let me know: I kinda owe you one anyway.

Just realized

That I never mentioned another lil' earth-shaker that happened recently.

My beloved Hondapotomus, in a pique of discontent at not having it's rear tire changed in a timely manner, decided to teach me a life lesson while traveling at 75 miles per hour.

Yes folks: you understood that right: I had a rear blow-out at 75mph. I honestly attribute my still being present to someone watching over my heathen ass.

I'm fine. The bike's mostly fine (still have to tweak the wiring a bit). But there was a Hell of an epiphany that day (story will be in the July issue of Freedom Roads)...

Frelling weather!

So... Spoon and I are sitting here at Manitowoc Coffee, surfing the net and enjoying the ambience, when the sirens start goin' off: seems we have a tornado warning. Of course, I'm sitting next to the big picture window, making the staff nervous as they herd the kids down to the basement...

I don't think there's been a tornado hit Manitowoc in recorded history. I can see the sky quite clearly: it's a nice dark blue-grey, not any sort of pea-soup green. And ever'body's acting like the end of the world is neigh.

Sheesh... some people. Get a lil' rain, wind, and the possibility of sudden violent death, and they start to panic!

Sunday School

First off, thanks to everyone for their good wishes: I was half expecting to be telling a bunch of people where to go. I'm doing fine: a bit confused, but fine. Putting things down here has helped.

Now, let's get back to fun for a bit!

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Spoon suggested y’all might find this lil’ story interesting. See, I haven’t ALWAYS been pagan: used to be a Christian. Went to Sunday School ‘n’ everything. But I always had an… odd… reaction to things I was taught. Like the day we learned about Adam & Eve.

The teacher spent a LOOONG time explaining the story to us, in words that your average five-year-old could understand. Afterwards, she asked us if we understood what the story meant.

Me, being of a somewhat literal mind (but still eager to please), raised my hand to answer the question. Now, I know she wanted something about avoiding temptation, and resisting the Devil, an’ all that jazz. But like I said, I was very literal minded.

She looked at me (granted, with some trepidation), and said “Strings? What does the story teach you?”. And I responded, with all the dignity a five-year-old can muster:


“Never accept an apple from a naked lady!”


To this day, no matter how beautiful she is or how much I love the lady in question, I will NOT accept an apple offered by a naked woman. Guess the lesson stuck, huh?

Changes aboard the Privateer...

Ok... I'm in a fairly good place emotionally right now, so I'll bare my life for y'all.

I had mentioned some "crew changes" aboard the Privateer. Maybe I should go into a little more detail. Just remember, y'all asked me to share: judge, and you'll get told where to go...

For those who haven't figured it out from previous posts, I'm polyamorous: literally, "many loves". I'm fairly devoted to my wife, Spoon, but there are other women that share my soul (if you will). One is in Mississippi (Jules), engaged to a nice guy and just had a child (which we will be doing our best to spoil). The other (Squeaker) has been living in Waukegan, and has been sharing our life almost as another wife... until just recently.

Seems she found herself another guy, and fell in love: on the phone. Needless to say, I've been going through a rollercoaster of hurt and confusion. Spoon, being nice to look at (but none too bright) has been a complete trooper: there was a reason I married her, and she's been reminding me of it constantly. As per normal, adversity just makes our relationship grow stronger...

So there y'all go: looks like the Privateer is losing a crew member. There may (at some point) be another addition: I know one of my new co-workers has been a true brother through this: he's been having his own troubles, and we've been commiserating quite a bit. And Spoon and I may one day find someone who wants to share our life: we'll see. For now though, our crew is down one... :(

Now where'd I put the rum?

Sorry for the light posting

Hey folks, sorry for the extreme lack of posts. Things have been… interesting… here aboard the Privateer. We’re looking at new berthing, possibly some new crew, and maybe even a new voyage (we HAVE been at this dock for a long time).

For those who don’t get the nautical references: we may be moving to new digs soon, some people may be leaving our lives, others may be coming in, and new developments are opening new avenues to explore in our lives.

One of the new things is the new banner link: that’s where I now work, both as advertising sales and as writer (several pieces already published). It’ll either work out as the greatest job possible for me, or it’ll crash & burn spectacularly. Only time will tell.

Keep checking back (both of you): there will be more content here. Right now, things are very fluid, and difficult for me to write about. As they solidify, I’ll let y’all know.

Arm and train them!

Interesting lil' discussion going on in the comments on Marko's latest.

Not going into the whole argument of "gay marriage" here right now: maybe in the next day or two. However, one person made a comment that needs to be addressed:

William the Coroner Says:


The only problem I see with the whole ‘incest’ thing is the power differential based on age. Several pervs have claimed that father-daughter incest is acceptable (usually the guy, of course), when the situation started before the age of consent and continued.

How to adequately protect the folks in society that need protection without crossing the line is a problem I do not know how to adequately answer.

To which there's a reply:

MarkHB Says:


William:

Teach ‘em and arm ‘em. Did I miss something?

See, this doesn't work.

If you've been reading me for any length of time, you've heard mention of a case from WAY out of my normal TO, which involved a lady who had been abused by her father since she was 4 (she's 20 now). The father was even continuing the abuse while the girl was away at college: he'd pick her up on a friday, and take her to a hotel room (we will NOT go into some of the allegations: some who read me have feelings). This girl had been taught basically from the time she could form rational thought that what was happening to her was fine, that her father's actions were normal.

What good would "arming and training" her have done?

Those of us who are armed have to recognize one major component of the self defense issue: mindset. Giving a weapon and training to a person who is going to be unwilling to use it, does no good. In the "incest" situation outlined above, this would be the case: the girl would have no inclination (unless removed from the situation and given MASSIVE counseling) to use force against her abuser, as she sees her abuser's actions as acceptable.

Which, of course, leaves the question of how DO we protect the vulnerable members of our society adequately? Unfortunately, I don't have an ultimate answer, and must continue using stop-gap measures...

Whatever happened to lil' frilly dresses?

From Malkin, via Rachel.





Wow... nothing like setting thing up to guarantee more business for BACA!

When will folks go back to letting their kids BE kids, instead of miniature versions of their slutty selves? Don't get me wrong: there are some women out there that can pull off the "hooker look" without looking like complete trash: carriage is everything. But there's no way pre-pubescent girls should be wearing stilettos and leather pants!

A few years back, I was working a job doing network cabling in schools. I distinctly remember hearing one middle-school girl telling a friend "If he wants it, he gonna get it!". I also remember thinking "My gawds, what ARE we teaching these kids?"...

We're bombarding kids with the idea that sex is everything, nonstop. What is our society going to look like in 10 years, when these kids hit high school? Worse, what's it going to look like when these girls are voting, and SHAPING society?

What the hell ever happened to the frilly lil' dresses girls used to wear? And what's next: little boys dressed as Carlos the Gigolo, in leather pants and a silk shirt open to his crotch?

Finding out my rock isn't the deepest...

So I read off this post to Spoon. Her perfect response?

"There was an earthquake in China?"

Sometimes, I forget that my rock isn't the one furthest from life. This is one of those times.

We REALLY have to get out more, or something.

Serenity leaving the world in ten minutes!

Via Mr Fixit, we get the Serenity Character Quiz!

Your results:
You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 90% Wash (Ship Pilot) 70% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 60% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 55% Inara Serra (Companion) 50% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 45% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 45% River (Stowaway) 45% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 40% A Reaver (Cannibal) 35% Alliance 35%

Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...


Huh... I would've thought Jayne or Mal, not Zoe. I'm not THAT much of a stone cold...

nevermind.

Do you carry a gun?

If you do, you should read (and live by) the rules found here.

The only thing I would add is, if you're legal to draw, you're already legal to be shooting. Cops can get away with "STOP OR I'LL SHOOT!", armed "civilians" can't (usually)...

diving into muddy water

Now, I don't normally comment on politics. Reason being, there are LOADS of bloggers out there who do a MUCH better job of it: my voice would be a feeble echo. But this, caught via Tam, kinda raises my hackles.

In a town dealing with all kinds of corruption, they single out a disabled vet for pointing his finger. and their justification of having him arrested and facing charges?

She said the village had no choice but to take seriously Kachka's gestures during the March 13 meeting in light of recent shootings at Northern Illinois University and in St. Louis, where a disgruntled resident shot and killed several city employees during a zoning meeting.

Ok, let me get this straight: a man pointing his finger (in whatever way) is now grounds for criminal charges, because of a couple shootings? Excuse me?

Honestly, if a member of the city council here in Manitowoc were to make the same allegations, I'd expect them to receive actual incoming. and it would CERTAINLY be their last term in office!

Anonymous

Stealing (again) from Marko, wondering about the idea of anonymity on the web...

I suppose "Strings" is something of a psuedonym: it certainly isn't what my mother called me at any point. But it fairly well IS who I am: anyone in BACA who knows me, knows "Strings", not "Bill". Same with most of the biker community. Heck, even the people I work with know me better as "Strings".

But there's that big question: do I post behind a psuedonym to protect myself. No... I'm not difficult to find. Besides, those who would wish me harm (most of whom are in prison right now), can fairly easily figure out how to locate me: my chapter's meetings are open to the public, and fairly well posted.

No... I'm not hiding: anyone interested, I'll give my real name. Quick word though: I don't Google all that well... ;)

Religion

This post over at Marko's place reminded me of a rant I've needed to go on...

Now, I don't mind folks that are sincere in their faith, or wish to share it: it's a natural human response to tell folks about things we find that are good. And trust me, I appreciate when one of the "God Fearing" folks tries to save my heathen soul: I know that they're just doing what they think is best. But there are a couple problems with some of these people.

First off, the door-to-door sales. Y'all need to find another hobby: the rest of society spends a fair amount of time thinking of ways to irritate/embarrass/frighten (if not outright hurt) you folks. You need to get the hint: people don't really appreciate being interrupted in their daily activities to be preached at (and some of y'all REALLY need to learn to be less pushy: more on that in a bit). Even the polite lil' old guy that stopped here at the Privateer last spring offended the hell out of me, with his asking "Is there anything I can do to help?" when he was informed that this was a pagan household...

The other group (although there's a fair amount of overlap) are the "know what's best for you" crowd. They seem to be basically religious hysterics, and they do more harm than they know. From the nosy neighbor who is CONSTANTLY on you about your faith, to the folks outside of the gaming conventions wanting to tell us about how "Jesus died on the cross to save us from the Hell we deserve!"*, these folks seem to be everywhere.

And they always seem drawn to me. One of my sisters is one, and it seems one of my sis-in-laws is, as well.

People, it's great to share your faith, but be respectful of other people: when someone says "That's enough, I don't want to hear any more", y'all need to shut up. That doesn't mean you've "won" the discussion, or that your audience can't refute you, it most likely means that your audience is tired of hearing about your brand of whatever faith (and I've seen 'em in EVERY religion). Personally, when I'm tired of hearing someone's voice, but they refuse to quiet down, I start to feel somewhat homicidal: NOT the best way of winning a convert.


*yes, that's an actual quote from a street preacher at GenCon. GREAT sales pitch!

The Dawn of a New Era

So... up to now, I've been tied to the computer at home, stuck in the household library. But with the new job comes new tools...

In order to better sell advertising (and do some writing while away from home), I broke down and purchased a laptop. Currently, I'm sitting in a coffee shop, letting y'all know that Strings is unbound!

I know... y'all don't care. To me, this is something of a big deal.

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Speaking of the job: check out Freedom Roads. Site's only just started, but there should be more content there soon!