Second Chances

OK... OK... I'm Posting already..... Its only been a few minutes......er.... days.........ok too damn long since I posted last. As to date my posts have not been anything that is really about me and who I am, no substance of how deranged is Slytly Deranged. This will be no different....

A lot of changes around here since my last post, I now have custody of my 16 year old son. I am overjoyed with this. I could write about it all day long and still never get out my feelings about him or how happy I am to have him. I could......but I won't. Two reasons....1.) If I did, this post would be different from my previous posts and I have already mentioned that this post would not be much different.....2.) I would rather you see his words about how he feels about being here.
I pulled the following from his myspace blog. These are his words, copied and pasted, no editing on my part:

A new school, a new home, sounds like an everyday thing in my life at this point huh? Well, this time it's different. I now have a place where I'm staying. I have a house and a school I don't have to leave anymore. It feels good to finally have some stability in my life. I get to have friends here that I won't leave two months from now, or just jump up and move without even saying good bye to them. I finally have a place where I can be me, but also I have a place I can care about. I used to not really care what anyone thought of me because I knew sooner or later, I'd be gone, far away from that place and probably never coming back. Granted, what I did to get here was nothing short of bad, I pretty much killed my mother with heartbreak. But when I think about how much better I'll have it here, I know I had to do it.... Here.... I don't have to worry about college tuition or a job or anything like that. Here, I can have everything I want because I now hold the tools I need to get them. When I was there, I was so un-happy all the time because all I would worry about was my future, here, I have another chance to re-write my future to a better ending.... My second chance in life.... Maybe one day you will all get one yourself.

Climate change and a new article

Ok... the next cocksmoker who says anything to me about how humans are causing global warming is getting anally violated with a large chainsaw. I'm just sayin'...

Spent a couple hours digging the cars out of a pile of "global warming". Are NOT happy.

And I'd like to go on record to state that changing 4 tires in the middle of a snowstorm sucks big boulders off the seafloor.

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In better news: OCC had made a chopper for Manitowoc Cranes, which is now on display at a local store. And it looks like I'm going to get to do a write-up on it for the mag! THAT should be fun!

There are some things I can't stand...

Everyone has a pet peeve: something that drives them absolutely wild. For me, probably THE biggest issue is lying.

Now, I understand some lies: we all lie to the cops, and suchlike. But to needlessly lie to someone you're close to... that's the epitome of low, and shows a complete lack of regard for the person being lied to.

Any relationship, from the barest of friendships to lovers, requires trust: you have GOT to trust that whoever's in the relationship with you will be honest. When that trust gets violated, it's problematic at best. Yes, there are times when the whole truth isn't a good idea: we've all been there. But usually the truth is better. And a needless lie, for the sole sake of not "being the bad guy"? Nope... doesn't pass muster.

I've been having... problems, lately. It's made my posting sporadic and depressing. That will be changing, from now. Not to say everything will be sunlight and roses, but the personal issues have pretty much solved themselves.

I'm sure some here have some clue what I'm talking about, specifically. I ask them to not say anything, in comments or email. Suffice it to say that I got hurt, and now I'm getting better. 'Nuf said.

Give me a day or two, and we'll get back to regular posting (I promise).

On a side note: maybe against my better judgement, I've given Spoon (my "first mate") access to post here. Not sure how often she will, but I figured "What the Hell". When she posts, please be gentle... ;)

One of THOSE days... :(

Ever have one of those days? You know: where you just do NOT want to get out of bed?

I'm having one now. Unfortunately, I never even GOT to bed...

Tonight is the board of directors meeting for BACA Wisconsin. I have NO choice but to attend, since I run the show. Unfortunately, I get to deal with personal issues, idiots, and now frigging SNOW. If there IS some form of divinity, They're getting a hell of a lot of fun out of me right now!

Begining to feel like all I have to say is depressing. Sheesh!

Expanding on my last post...

Ok...

So... one case we're working on kinda blew up: perp got out (they keep postponing the trial), and immediately made contact with the victim. Went to jail again, and got out again after a few days. We went Level II (means we mounted a guard rotation on the victim's house) for a couple days, until perp-boy went away again. Fun times!

The mag is goin' well... for the most part. I'm now the associate editor, and it looks like I'm going to be taking over full Editorship: the layout guy and I are going to buy out the owner. We've finally gotten tired of having out time wasted by the guy: spent a full week, waiting for the owner to bring us the material for the last issue. Good things ahead on THAT front!

There've been the usual run of small personal problems too. But they're more in the nature of minor irritations.

So... more to come soon!

Relationship lessons

You know, I'm a pretty good councellor: I listen well, and give pretty good advice. Usually, when someone tells me they're going through a break-up, I tell them to cut the ties completely. I didn't follow my own advice with Squeaker, and I just got reminded why it's a good idea...

Don't misunderstand: I've been wanting her back. But I had pulled back, trying to give her space for her new relationship to work. Tonight, I sent her a text (related to work), and found out she was drinking: in her words, "to bring her problems to the surface".

Now, I don't know 'bout any of y'all, but that sounds (to me) like someone who could maybe use a little help, who's in pain. And I can't see someone in pain without trying to help.

I'm an idiot that way.

So... I spend about an hour, hour 'n' a half talking to her, via texts. She mentioned how "nobody can help me, not even myself", which sounded (to me) like she was giving up on herself. So I kinda hammered on that for awhile. And she responded with "I'm not giving up! I'm his"...

To me, this sounded like she thought the entire time I spent trying to help, was only an effort to "win her back". Made me feel like a complete idiot.

I could've been spending the time with Spoon. Or working. Or stabbing myself in the testicles with a rusty icepick. Instead, I was trying to help. And I got my emotional ass handed to me for my troubles.

Fuck that!

Up to this point, there was a part of me that really wanted her to come back. To try and make things work. That part just got locked away by the rest of my mind, in a deep dark hole. Kinda the way society used to deal with the mentally handicapped, which is kinda what that part of my brain is...

I know she occassionally reads this blog. And maybe, she hopes things can be cleaned up. Honestly, I don't trust her anymore. And without trust, there can't be love...

So folks, let this be a lesson: when someone leaves you for another, cut them out of your life as completely as possible. Maybe, at a later date, things can be revisited. But if you don't make that clean break, you're in for a world of hurt...

Just realized

That I never mentioned another lil' earth-shaker that happened recently.

My beloved Hondapotomus, in a pique of discontent at not having it's rear tire changed in a timely manner, decided to teach me a life lesson while traveling at 75 miles per hour.

Yes folks: you understood that right: I had a rear blow-out at 75mph. I honestly attribute my still being present to someone watching over my heathen ass.

I'm fine. The bike's mostly fine (still have to tweak the wiring a bit). But there was a Hell of an epiphany that day (story will be in the July issue of Freedom Roads)...

Wow... ignore the intarwebz for a few days...

... and EVERYONE posts something good to read!

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First off, go read the new Perspectives. Start at Lawdog, then hit Ambulance Driver, and finish off with Babs. Have a hanky handy, this one's a tear-jerker.

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Ok... done crying? Time for something a lil' more light-hearted, over Boobs, Injuries, and Dr Pepper

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Sorry I haven't been posting as much lately: I've taken over the position of State Rep for BACA, and that has kept me hopping. And there's a REAL cool job opportunity in the works: we'll see how it goes.

It's been a long two weeks...

Yeah... i know, I've been remiss in posting new stuff for the three of you to read. Feel free to sue: my lawyer can beat up your lawyer anytime.

First off... my Chapter had to pull off a case. Nothing more I can really say there, beyond it absolutely SUCKS to know that an innocent is being hurt, and there's nothing you can do. I really can't think of anything I hate more than this feeling...

Then, we got word that spoon' uncle ("Honda Bob", if there's anyone reading this in Appleton) died in a cycle accident. Some guy looking for an address blew a light, and there went Uncle Bob: DRT. Funeral was today: I'm getting REALLY tired of only seeing family at funerals, weddings, and other mournful occasions... :(

Last night, I got an email: I've been promoted to State Rep in BACA. Didn't even know I was in the running. I'm not ready for that much responsibility (that, and it means I don't get to attend training sessions at National, or goof off with my bros: I HAVE to be in the BoD meeting).

With all that, I needed to get out for a bit: stopped in at one of my favorite watering holes, ordered my Coke, and was relaxing when some Cute Young Thang decided I was a prime target for her affections, and was NOT gonna back off (one of my would-be members finally got her to calm down. I think he warned her I was likely to cauterize what she wanted played with if she kept up her BS)...

Can somebody just shoot me already? AD, Matt, LawDog... SOMEBODY?!?!?

So the car show we were at a couple weeks ago...

...had a dunk tank. It was a fairly hot day, so I was in my kilt. Of course, the event organizers decided that having the biker in a kilt up in the tank was da bomb. So... here's your favorite privateer, acting as a target.

Ya know... Spoon was in there earlier in the day, and she got targeted by the little kids. Me? I had mostly adult men. 'Course, i was also heckling them mercilessly... :D

News of the Bad and Ugly

Sorry 'bout the delay in posting stuff: been a LOT going on lately...

First off: found kinda a job. And promptly got sick, thereby loosing said kinda job. Hoping to start a new job doing actual work (and actually getting paid) sometime next week...

We also had a call-out for a BACA child, and got to spend a week out of town. NOT my idea of a good time, but I don't get to make these decisions. Thought we would be getting one of our kids out of a bad situation, and found out it wasn't gonna happen. Wasted the entire weekend (as well as had much drama along the way) NOT my prefered way of spending time. But I guess we gots to deal with what life gives us...

Hope y'all are doin' well. Been tryin' to catch up on my reading, and I'll be trying to post a bit more soon.

Da Girls

Occurs to me that, in the "facts about me" meme, I left out one little tidbit about my "faire wife", Squeeker: she was in a house fire at 15, and has had a trach tube pretty much since. Well, Friday she had her preliminary surgery to have it removed: the reconstruction of her trachea itself. She's doing fine (although she isn't supposed to talk, which is driving her nuts: Spoon threatened to use a ball gag on her if she doesn't keep quiet). Assuming everything goes well, in 6 months or so she'll have the trach removed and sealed up.

In somewhat more minor news, Spoon got a treat today: some guy let her take his trike for a spin. Now, she has wanted a trike for longer than I've known her, but never even got a ride on one. Saw this one at a local watering hole, stopped in to ask about it, and the guy took her out, letting her drive for about 4 blocks. I haven't seen a grin like this on her since she got to shoot full-auto. 'Course, now I have to find her a trike...